My subject heading says it all ... I knicked "I feel better now..." off the Medibank Private TV ads ... hope they didn't mind ;0)
Well, I do, I do feel better now. All the anger, the confusion I have endured the past twenty years I wrapped up and threw it up on my blog late Thursday night and I put it out there for all to see. I don't know how many 'alls' actually read it. I do know two friends read it and thank you ladies for your comments, you are beautiful. I don't know if any of my family members bothered to read it, probably not, and well I don't care. I am sick of bottling up the grief, I am sick of biting my tongue. Yep, I simply had had enough and I told the world, well, okay, a few of you what has been going thru in my head for the past 20 years.
You don't become obese by being frequent visitors of McDonalds and drinking goonie juice all night long. There's a reason why you turn to fatty foods and alcohol and on Thursday night, after a bit of goonie juice LOL, I let it be known what has been rattling on in my head. Yes I am lucky, yes I could have more worse of problems than what has affected me, but I laid it out and fingers crossed I can kick down that emotional grief of a wall and get on losing this fat arse of mine!!!
And after 'expressing myself', I actually feel fantastic. Yesterday, on the actual anniversery of my father's death, I barely cried. I smiled, I remembered but I didn't cry. I felt like someone had lifted the burden off my shoulders and yep I do feel better now.
So onwards and upwards people .... time to live again I think :0)
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
08102010-If I could only turn back time ....
20 years ago today, I lost someone very close to me. Someone who treated me like a princess, someone who I really didn’t get to know that well. Hit that rewind button on the video machine people!!!
It was a Monday morning on the 8th October 1990, just 16 days after my wedding (a wedding that should never have happened, but it did and well hindsight’s a brilliant thing isn’t it?). It was 9am, I was still in pyjamas and I was watching a recording of the Brisbane Bullets V Eastside Spectres basketball semi final game. I was a proud Brisbane Bullets basketball devotee and my team had just beaten the Victorian team to get into the NBL Grand Final. I was on my honeymoon and my team, who no one gave a hope in hell in winning at all during the year, had made the Grand Final. Yes, I was on Cloud Nine! And then the telephone interrupted my elation ….
It was my sister and all I heard was “Don’t panic, he’s okay”. Apparently the last couple of hours my father had been to hell and back, and I knew nothing about it. I was pathetically celebrating my basketball team’s win whilst my father was lying in an ambulance and then a hospital. Meryl continued to tell me that ‘it was only a minor heart attack…but I think we should call in the family”. Heart attack??? This man walked me down the aisle just two weeks ago and he has had a mild attack?? And then I called my then husband at his work, asked him to come home, pick me up and we go to hospital. (Twenty years later I question myself why did I do that??? Why didn’t I just get into my VW Beetle and get to that hospital in no time. No, I waited and waited and eventually ‘he’ turned up). We got stuck at the intersection of Gympie and Webster Roads. Car in front braked immediately at an amber light, we were prepped to run the red, so we impatiently stewed and stewed and stewed. Eventually we got to Prince Charles and I bolted into that hospital. I had no idea where I was going, I eventually asked a front office girl. All I remember was a very long hallway, it felt like it stretched for miles. But I ran as fast as I could and soon I saw my mother sitting in a chair, next to an office table, by the door. And then I heard her voice … “He’s gone Janelle, he’s gone”. My Dad had died on a cold examination table at the Prince Charles Hospital. For hours I stroked my mother’s hair whilst she sobbed uncontrollably and my sister attempted to locate our siblings and other family members, very tricky thing to do when our family was as apart as it could be.
About an hour later, the time had come, the time to say our goodbyes. I mean how hard could it be? I had seen it many many times, in many many TV soapies. But no, no soapie can pre-warn you on seeing your own father lying lifeless under a sheet on a cold hospital examination table. There’s no laughter from him, there’s no ‘come here kiddo’ being spoken. The silence is horrible, the vision is something I never want to go through again. He lay there motionless, silent, eyes closed, with this horrible looking crappy cotton wool stuffed up his nose and his lips and eyelids all taped up. I was finding it hard to believe that it was my father lying there. Mum kept saying over and over “It’s just a shell Janelle, just a shell, your father has moved on”.
No Mum, he was no shell. This shell was my father. I came into his world when he was just 43yo, according to him and you I was ‘the apple of his eye’. No one had ever died on me. My Dad’s parents died when he was very young. My Mum’s parents died when I was 9 and 13yo, so I really had no idea what it was like to lose a loved one. One of the last memories I have of Dad was at my wedding, he looked so dashing in his white jacket and bow tie and silver hair. Now he was gone. After saying my ‘goodbyes’, we left the examination room and I collapsed into my then husband’s arms, belting the crap out of him and yelled “NO”, over and over and over again … (unfortunately too close to my mother, who still remembers that moment to this day).
Soon we arrived at my parents’ home, where the family slowly congregated to. Sadly I remember no hugs, no comforting, no ‘are you okays?’ I remember the Brisbane City Council attempting to plant a tree on my Father’s manicured perfect lawns, and they were quickly shushed away. I remember one certain brother of mine getting up me for eating something, mind you, I hadn’t even had breakfast but hey, lets pick on the baby sister huh??? And then I remember one by one, each of my siblings leaving. They all had their own families and because I was child-less, I was left to comfort Mum. I was 21yrs old. My parents NEVER cried infront of me, I had never had someone die on my like this, but they volunteered me to look after Mum. She was my Mum, and I was staying. I had to shut down my tears, shut down my grieving but it was for my Mum. But as my siblings slept in their cosy homes, they NEVER encountered the howling, the crying, the distress that came from my mother on that night of 8th October 1990. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep that night at all … (Needless to say, the howling still echoes through my head 20yrs later).
The next day my siblings suggested I write a poem for my Dad’s funeral. I had NEVER been to funeral fullstop. I had no idea what funerals entailed but I composed a poem and I nervously stood at that podium at Albany Creek on the 10th October, shaking like a leave. None of my older siblings would do it, none of them would pay homage to their father, they were too nervous apparently, left it to me … But I stood there, shaking like a leave, with my dead father three metres away from me in his coffin and I read that hastily put together poem and I remembered that Mum loved it, and that was the main thing.
08.10.2010 – 20 years later – I can’t believe it has already been twenty years. I swear the heart ache gets worse as each year passes by, and I know why. After the funeral was held, everything went back to normal, like nothing had happened. I was told very quickly, well just hours after my father’s funeral, by my then-husband to ‘get over it, he’s gone, get on with it’. I was more or less forced to shove all my mourning and grief into a box and throw the box away. I was never allowed to grieve, I never had that family to console me, I just wrapped all that heartbreak up and pretended it never existed. And let me tell you, that heartbreak never stays locked away. The longer you lock that heartache away, the worse the anger and hurt gets. Yes, I’ve tried counselling, but I’m sick of hearing from them professionals that there are millions of people worse off than me, but hello, that doesn’t change my bitterness and heartache doctors.
And what truly shatters my heart is that my two lovely boys will never know what a wonderful gentleman their ‘other’ Grandfather was. Noel Ross would have loved his two grandsons, he would have cuddled them, he would have taken them on many many train rides using his Gold QR Card. But unfortunately my two boys only want to know one grandfather and that truly shatters my heart. No matter how many photos I show them, there is only one Grandad and that kills me. And also, I never got to hear those words that all my other siblings got to hear. When they had their many children, my Dad said one thing to each of his children but me … “Hey look, they’ve got the ROSS nose!” He would proudly say and laugh wildly. Sadly I never got to hear that, sadly my Dad didn’t hang around to see me leave the loser that he told me not to marry. Sadly he didn’t hang around to see me meet and then marry a wonderful man, a man who is addicted to QR like Dad was. And sadly he didn’t see his ‘princess’ give birth to two beautiful boys who will never know or hear their other Grandfather.
Don’t get me wrong. Death happens. Expected or Unexpected. I accept death. What really pisses me off is we now live in the age of digital technology. My two boys have thousands of photos and hours of video coverage if something ever happens to their fraternal grandparents, me or Andrew. What do I have of my Dad??? A video tape of my 1990 wedding where I hear him speak only a couple of times. If I want to hear what my Dad sounds like again, I have to watch my first wedding again. Its like watching a horror movie. I want to set fire to that video tape but I can’t, it’s the only tape recording of my father’s voice :0( Today, I can’t remember how my Dad sounds, I can’t remember his moves, I can’t remember much at all about my Dad, its like he died when I was 2, and not 21. And everyone around me thinks I am so obese because I simply eat too much chocolate and drink too much wine … well when your heart aches as much as mine does, the chocolate and wine help immensely.
So forgive me if I’m not much company on Friday 8th October. Mentally I am back in 1990. I wish I was back in 1990. I wish I cancelled that wedding that should have not happened to see if it made a difference. I will always blame myself for Dad’s death. I was his ‘princess’, I hooked up with his worst nightmare and I married him, and two weeks later, Dad died. Do I feel guilty??? Have a look at me and you decide ….
It was a Monday morning on the 8th October 1990, just 16 days after my wedding (a wedding that should never have happened, but it did and well hindsight’s a brilliant thing isn’t it?). It was 9am, I was still in pyjamas and I was watching a recording of the Brisbane Bullets V Eastside Spectres basketball semi final game. I was a proud Brisbane Bullets basketball devotee and my team had just beaten the Victorian team to get into the NBL Grand Final. I was on my honeymoon and my team, who no one gave a hope in hell in winning at all during the year, had made the Grand Final. Yes, I was on Cloud Nine! And then the telephone interrupted my elation ….
It was my sister and all I heard was “Don’t panic, he’s okay”. Apparently the last couple of hours my father had been to hell and back, and I knew nothing about it. I was pathetically celebrating my basketball team’s win whilst my father was lying in an ambulance and then a hospital. Meryl continued to tell me that ‘it was only a minor heart attack…but I think we should call in the family”. Heart attack??? This man walked me down the aisle just two weeks ago and he has had a mild attack?? And then I called my then husband at his work, asked him to come home, pick me up and we go to hospital. (Twenty years later I question myself why did I do that??? Why didn’t I just get into my VW Beetle and get to that hospital in no time. No, I waited and waited and eventually ‘he’ turned up). We got stuck at the intersection of Gympie and Webster Roads. Car in front braked immediately at an amber light, we were prepped to run the red, so we impatiently stewed and stewed and stewed. Eventually we got to Prince Charles and I bolted into that hospital. I had no idea where I was going, I eventually asked a front office girl. All I remember was a very long hallway, it felt like it stretched for miles. But I ran as fast as I could and soon I saw my mother sitting in a chair, next to an office table, by the door. And then I heard her voice … “He’s gone Janelle, he’s gone”. My Dad had died on a cold examination table at the Prince Charles Hospital. For hours I stroked my mother’s hair whilst she sobbed uncontrollably and my sister attempted to locate our siblings and other family members, very tricky thing to do when our family was as apart as it could be.
About an hour later, the time had come, the time to say our goodbyes. I mean how hard could it be? I had seen it many many times, in many many TV soapies. But no, no soapie can pre-warn you on seeing your own father lying lifeless under a sheet on a cold hospital examination table. There’s no laughter from him, there’s no ‘come here kiddo’ being spoken. The silence is horrible, the vision is something I never want to go through again. He lay there motionless, silent, eyes closed, with this horrible looking crappy cotton wool stuffed up his nose and his lips and eyelids all taped up. I was finding it hard to believe that it was my father lying there. Mum kept saying over and over “It’s just a shell Janelle, just a shell, your father has moved on”.
No Mum, he was no shell. This shell was my father. I came into his world when he was just 43yo, according to him and you I was ‘the apple of his eye’. No one had ever died on me. My Dad’s parents died when he was very young. My Mum’s parents died when I was 9 and 13yo, so I really had no idea what it was like to lose a loved one. One of the last memories I have of Dad was at my wedding, he looked so dashing in his white jacket and bow tie and silver hair. Now he was gone. After saying my ‘goodbyes’, we left the examination room and I collapsed into my then husband’s arms, belting the crap out of him and yelled “NO”, over and over and over again … (unfortunately too close to my mother, who still remembers that moment to this day).
Soon we arrived at my parents’ home, where the family slowly congregated to. Sadly I remember no hugs, no comforting, no ‘are you okays?’ I remember the Brisbane City Council attempting to plant a tree on my Father’s manicured perfect lawns, and they were quickly shushed away. I remember one certain brother of mine getting up me for eating something, mind you, I hadn’t even had breakfast but hey, lets pick on the baby sister huh??? And then I remember one by one, each of my siblings leaving. They all had their own families and because I was child-less, I was left to comfort Mum. I was 21yrs old. My parents NEVER cried infront of me, I had never had someone die on my like this, but they volunteered me to look after Mum. She was my Mum, and I was staying. I had to shut down my tears, shut down my grieving but it was for my Mum. But as my siblings slept in their cosy homes, they NEVER encountered the howling, the crying, the distress that came from my mother on that night of 8th October 1990. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep that night at all … (Needless to say, the howling still echoes through my head 20yrs later).
The next day my siblings suggested I write a poem for my Dad’s funeral. I had NEVER been to funeral fullstop. I had no idea what funerals entailed but I composed a poem and I nervously stood at that podium at Albany Creek on the 10th October, shaking like a leave. None of my older siblings would do it, none of them would pay homage to their father, they were too nervous apparently, left it to me … But I stood there, shaking like a leave, with my dead father three metres away from me in his coffin and I read that hastily put together poem and I remembered that Mum loved it, and that was the main thing.
08.10.2010 – 20 years later – I can’t believe it has already been twenty years. I swear the heart ache gets worse as each year passes by, and I know why. After the funeral was held, everything went back to normal, like nothing had happened. I was told very quickly, well just hours after my father’s funeral, by my then-husband to ‘get over it, he’s gone, get on with it’. I was more or less forced to shove all my mourning and grief into a box and throw the box away. I was never allowed to grieve, I never had that family to console me, I just wrapped all that heartbreak up and pretended it never existed. And let me tell you, that heartbreak never stays locked away. The longer you lock that heartache away, the worse the anger and hurt gets. Yes, I’ve tried counselling, but I’m sick of hearing from them professionals that there are millions of people worse off than me, but hello, that doesn’t change my bitterness and heartache doctors.
And what truly shatters my heart is that my two lovely boys will never know what a wonderful gentleman their ‘other’ Grandfather was. Noel Ross would have loved his two grandsons, he would have cuddled them, he would have taken them on many many train rides using his Gold QR Card. But unfortunately my two boys only want to know one grandfather and that truly shatters my heart. No matter how many photos I show them, there is only one Grandad and that kills me. And also, I never got to hear those words that all my other siblings got to hear. When they had their many children, my Dad said one thing to each of his children but me … “Hey look, they’ve got the ROSS nose!” He would proudly say and laugh wildly. Sadly I never got to hear that, sadly my Dad didn’t hang around to see me leave the loser that he told me not to marry. Sadly he didn’t hang around to see me meet and then marry a wonderful man, a man who is addicted to QR like Dad was. And sadly he didn’t see his ‘princess’ give birth to two beautiful boys who will never know or hear their other Grandfather.
Don’t get me wrong. Death happens. Expected or Unexpected. I accept death. What really pisses me off is we now live in the age of digital technology. My two boys have thousands of photos and hours of video coverage if something ever happens to their fraternal grandparents, me or Andrew. What do I have of my Dad??? A video tape of my 1990 wedding where I hear him speak only a couple of times. If I want to hear what my Dad sounds like again, I have to watch my first wedding again. Its like watching a horror movie. I want to set fire to that video tape but I can’t, it’s the only tape recording of my father’s voice :0( Today, I can’t remember how my Dad sounds, I can’t remember his moves, I can’t remember much at all about my Dad, its like he died when I was 2, and not 21. And everyone around me thinks I am so obese because I simply eat too much chocolate and drink too much wine … well when your heart aches as much as mine does, the chocolate and wine help immensely.
So forgive me if I’m not much company on Friday 8th October. Mentally I am back in 1990. I wish I was back in 1990. I wish I cancelled that wedding that should have not happened to see if it made a difference. I will always blame myself for Dad’s death. I was his ‘princess’, I hooked up with his worst nightmare and I married him, and two weeks later, Dad died. Do I feel guilty??? Have a look at me and you decide ….
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
06102010 - Proud moment
Yes, I returned ... tee heee
Well mixed day today but not one drop of wine touched my tongue - YAY. This morning I took 3yo Cyclone son shopping and we had a reasonably happy time. Normally there's tandrums and tears. I had finally felt 'the light at the end of the terror tot tunnel' was quickly coming my way. All felt fantastic ... until ...
10am, Aisle 8 Woolies Supermarket, 5 minutes from completing shopping. I was delighted that for once it had been a happy trip out and suddenly I heard the word "Poo" come from my son's mouth and that was followed by an odour of the horrible kind. Poor kid had a small and mild dose of diahorrea. Within 10 minutes I had that boy in the nearest Mothers Room, much to the disgust of the 'yummy mummies' who thought it wasn't a great idea that my 3yo was in their room. Go Figure! I got him into a Pull Up and off home we go. Soon came another 'wave' of diahorrea and just as I put a mouthful of lunch into my mouth, his head blew up all over the kiddies Winnie the Pooh lounge suite which is now in a 100 pieces, don't ask! (I couldn't get the stupid friggin' cover off and now there's lounge foam everywhere in my laundry. LOL). So, I clean him, the carpet and the lounge suite up and go to laundry to, well, deal with the mess. Then he 'exploded' again and again ... on my lounge chair. He was worse than a volcano I swear. I call up hubby in tears. How quickly my reasonable day had, well, exploded ... like my son's head. LOL. At 1pm, I was eagerly awaiting to put lips to wine glass ... and it never happened. I didn't do it, I couldn't. I had to put mind over matter, I put the scale numbers flashing over and over in my head. I soooo wanted that drink, but it failed to happen and I'm stoked :0) Normally after a day of scrapping up vomit or any other eeeky kiddy crap, I must have a wine that night to wind me down. Not tonight and its a huge thing for me.
Oh by the way, my Cyclone son is much better. Daddy rushed home and of course son hasn't 'exploded' at either end since lunch time. At 3.30pm I came home from picking other son up from school, and both Cyclone and Daddy were fast asleep.
Now I sit and wait to see if my lunch stays down. I was eating WW Cabonara for lunch and after my son's explosions, I was still trying to eat the cold pasta an hour later .... ewwwww....
Well mixed day today but not one drop of wine touched my tongue - YAY. This morning I took 3yo Cyclone son shopping and we had a reasonably happy time. Normally there's tandrums and tears. I had finally felt 'the light at the end of the terror tot tunnel' was quickly coming my way. All felt fantastic ... until ...
10am, Aisle 8 Woolies Supermarket, 5 minutes from completing shopping. I was delighted that for once it had been a happy trip out and suddenly I heard the word "Poo" come from my son's mouth and that was followed by an odour of the horrible kind. Poor kid had a small and mild dose of diahorrea. Within 10 minutes I had that boy in the nearest Mothers Room, much to the disgust of the 'yummy mummies' who thought it wasn't a great idea that my 3yo was in their room. Go Figure! I got him into a Pull Up and off home we go. Soon came another 'wave' of diahorrea and just as I put a mouthful of lunch into my mouth, his head blew up all over the kiddies Winnie the Pooh lounge suite which is now in a 100 pieces, don't ask! (I couldn't get the stupid friggin' cover off and now there's lounge foam everywhere in my laundry. LOL). So, I clean him, the carpet and the lounge suite up and go to laundry to, well, deal with the mess. Then he 'exploded' again and again ... on my lounge chair. He was worse than a volcano I swear. I call up hubby in tears. How quickly my reasonable day had, well, exploded ... like my son's head. LOL. At 1pm, I was eagerly awaiting to put lips to wine glass ... and it never happened. I didn't do it, I couldn't. I had to put mind over matter, I put the scale numbers flashing over and over in my head. I soooo wanted that drink, but it failed to happen and I'm stoked :0) Normally after a day of scrapping up vomit or any other eeeky kiddy crap, I must have a wine that night to wind me down. Not tonight and its a huge thing for me.
Oh by the way, my Cyclone son is much better. Daddy rushed home and of course son hasn't 'exploded' at either end since lunch time. At 3.30pm I came home from picking other son up from school, and both Cyclone and Daddy were fast asleep.
Now I sit and wait to see if my lunch stays down. I was eating WW Cabonara for lunch and after my son's explosions, I was still trying to eat the cold pasta an hour later .... ewwwww....
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
05102010 - BOO!
Hello, knock knock, anyone home ???? ;0)
I have an announcement to make ... I'm not pregnant, nor am I dead, nor am I half the size I was ... wishful thinking there LOL. However, I am bacckkkk.
I fell off the WeightWatching wagon well and truly and returned to emotional hell. Thats all. I haven't handled things too well in my life, I'm not ashamed to say that and thanks to alot of white wine, cheese and ice cream ... hello, I'm back up to 123.2kg.
So its back to 'baby steps' again. I have completed two days of Weight Watchers, I did get back on them scales and I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 48 hours. I just need to get back into the exercise. My 3yo won't get back into the pram anymore, so our walks are very slow and very tedious.
So I return, again, I return on what is the saddest week for me. On Friday I will endure my father's 20th death anniversery. Too many bad memories, no support from my so-called family and I make no promises about Friday being a alcohol free day. But until then, I measure, I record and I give the cold shoulder to the many Freddo Frogs habiting on the bottom of my fridge...
I shall return.............
I have an announcement to make ... I'm not pregnant, nor am I dead, nor am I half the size I was ... wishful thinking there LOL. However, I am bacckkkk.
I fell off the WeightWatching wagon well and truly and returned to emotional hell. Thats all. I haven't handled things too well in my life, I'm not ashamed to say that and thanks to alot of white wine, cheese and ice cream ... hello, I'm back up to 123.2kg.
So its back to 'baby steps' again. I have completed two days of Weight Watchers, I did get back on them scales and I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 48 hours. I just need to get back into the exercise. My 3yo won't get back into the pram anymore, so our walks are very slow and very tedious.
So I return, again, I return on what is the saddest week for me. On Friday I will endure my father's 20th death anniversery. Too many bad memories, no support from my so-called family and I make no promises about Friday being a alcohol free day. But until then, I measure, I record and I give the cold shoulder to the many Freddo Frogs habiting on the bottom of my fridge...
I shall return.............
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
13072010 - My ankle is a brick
One day down, thousands to go ;0) And yes, a blog entry two days in a row!! I'm doing well. This morning I nervously bounced on my scales and my vomits did me well, I'm 'only' 118.6kg!!! I was expecting some figure over 120kg, but I'm happy to settle with 118.6kg. But then I found my tape measure and the figures weren't siding with my happiness. Most measurements up by a centimetre but hey, no one to blame but myself!!
This morning I got in a walk up the hill to take my son to school. I wasn't breathless but my right foot & ankle hates me. As well as putting up with my chest virus, gastro bug and two fighting boys at school holiday time, I also have some sort of pinched nerve ahappening. Mid-last week, of all places I got a pain in my bum, above my right thigh and since then my right foot has suffered pins and needles. Basically when I walk or use my foot, it feels a big fat brick is tied to it. After almost a week the nerve pain is going down but my foot still feels like a big fat brick, so that made for interesting walking up the hill this morning!!! Bloody limping like I've walked 50km instead of 500metres!
Right now I'm awaiting a radio interview that will feature Chris Gibson, Mel Gibson's brother and no, I am not interested at all about what Mel is yelling at his Russian other half!!! Apparently Mel's brother Chris has written a book, not about his brother, but about his weight loss. Apparently he gained a fair bit of weight and the book is all about his 'journey'. I'm interested to hear what he has to say, not sure if I'll buy his book ... I only have a library full of weight loss books here gathering dust piles!!
Must go, 3yo keeps hovering around ESC keyboard button.....
Keep on Moving
Janelle xxxx
P.S. Edited to say that the Chris Gibson 4BC interview was excellent. His book is titled "Memoirs of a Fat Bastard" and I am very tempted in buying it. Apparently he reached a weight of 150kg and was a very angry person inside, sounds familiar. He felt 'small' by others around him, once again sounds very familiar and felt ashamed and angry and stayed in his 150kg frame. He ate and drank lots and after another boozy night he has 'that wake up call'. Anyways here is his website if anyone out there is interested, doesn't look like his brother Mel but sure sounds like him!!! www.chrisgibson.tv
This morning I got in a walk up the hill to take my son to school. I wasn't breathless but my right foot & ankle hates me. As well as putting up with my chest virus, gastro bug and two fighting boys at school holiday time, I also have some sort of pinched nerve ahappening. Mid-last week, of all places I got a pain in my bum, above my right thigh and since then my right foot has suffered pins and needles. Basically when I walk or use my foot, it feels a big fat brick is tied to it. After almost a week the nerve pain is going down but my foot still feels like a big fat brick, so that made for interesting walking up the hill this morning!!! Bloody limping like I've walked 50km instead of 500metres!
Right now I'm awaiting a radio interview that will feature Chris Gibson, Mel Gibson's brother and no, I am not interested at all about what Mel is yelling at his Russian other half!!! Apparently Mel's brother Chris has written a book, not about his brother, but about his weight loss. Apparently he gained a fair bit of weight and the book is all about his 'journey'. I'm interested to hear what he has to say, not sure if I'll buy his book ... I only have a library full of weight loss books here gathering dust piles!!
Must go, 3yo keeps hovering around ESC keyboard button.....
Keep on Moving
Janelle xxxx
P.S. Edited to say that the Chris Gibson 4BC interview was excellent. His book is titled "Memoirs of a Fat Bastard" and I am very tempted in buying it. Apparently he reached a weight of 150kg and was a very angry person inside, sounds familiar. He felt 'small' by others around him, once again sounds very familiar and felt ashamed and angry and stayed in his 150kg frame. He ate and drank lots and after another boozy night he has 'that wake up call'. Anyways here is his website if anyone out there is interested, doesn't look like his brother Mel but sure sounds like him!!! www.chrisgibson.tv
Monday, July 12, 2010
12072010 - One step at a time ....
Hello ... remember me? ;0) It has been a while hasn't it??? I'm not even sure if anyone is reading my blogs anymore but I'm used to talking to myself anyway LOL
I've been missing in action, mostly due to health reasons. Around two months ago I contracted a coughing virus, nasty little thing it is, yes I still have the bastardly vicious thing. It wasn't just a 'simple' chunky cough but it's a cough that has made me either vomit or completely stop breathing and what did the doctors say "Its viral not bacterial, come back in a couple of days if it doesn't go away". And you guessed it, I never went back and I coughed and coughed and coughed alot more and never got back on the Weight Watchers track again. Then came school holidays and trips to, eeeeek, "McDonalds" and then lots of wine to get me thru the long winded school holidays. Did I mention the gastro bug that has drifted into our home last Wednesday night and is still lurking about?? I am just well and truly over alot of things right now and its time to get back on track.
I have no idea what I weigh now, too scared to hop on them scales but then again after imitating a volcano the past 24 hours, surely I could have lost at least 5kg ;0) And its a good time to recommence 'the journey' as son No.1 goes back to school tomorrow and my walking routine is put back on track. I need to get better, I am so sick of being sick, I'm sick of the tears. Time to find happiness again and its certainly not in a box of McNuggets!
Well I'm done talking to myself, wish me well :0)
I've been missing in action, mostly due to health reasons. Around two months ago I contracted a coughing virus, nasty little thing it is, yes I still have the bastardly vicious thing. It wasn't just a 'simple' chunky cough but it's a cough that has made me either vomit or completely stop breathing and what did the doctors say "Its viral not bacterial, come back in a couple of days if it doesn't go away". And you guessed it, I never went back and I coughed and coughed and coughed alot more and never got back on the Weight Watchers track again. Then came school holidays and trips to, eeeeek, "McDonalds" and then lots of wine to get me thru the long winded school holidays. Did I mention the gastro bug that has drifted into our home last Wednesday night and is still lurking about?? I am just well and truly over alot of things right now and its time to get back on track.
I have no idea what I weigh now, too scared to hop on them scales but then again after imitating a volcano the past 24 hours, surely I could have lost at least 5kg ;0) And its a good time to recommence 'the journey' as son No.1 goes back to school tomorrow and my walking routine is put back on track. I need to get better, I am so sick of being sick, I'm sick of the tears. Time to find happiness again and its certainly not in a box of McNuggets!
Well I'm done talking to myself, wish me well :0)
Monday, May 24, 2010
24052010 - Shrinking Fingers ...
There is one negative thing about weight-loss (besides the giving up on the fatty foods at weekend time!!) and that is ... my fingers are becoming skinnier. Of all the places I need to reduce weight, such as my bum, thighs, tummy, face.... my fingers want to get skinny first LOL. And of course, I'm a fidgeter aren't I??? So I merrily play with the rings that could barely move about my fat fingers six months ago. The biggest problem with this is ... maybe just maybe they may completely slip off when I'm not paying attention. Just can't win, can I??? LOL
Well, somehow I lost weight last week. On Monday I was almost 121kg, by Friday I was 118.8kg. I wasn't 110% angelic on WW but I didn't veer off track either. Toilet training is STILL happening here, not with me, but my 3yo 'ginger whinger'. Actually its not happening, I wish it would happen a little quicker, but it is a very long 'work in progress' and by 8pm the chardonney is going down very very nicely thank you very much. I yearn for the day he is completely toilet trained like his older brother is now, if not, my liver will be on the first bus out of here LOL
Right now though, I am feeling lousy. I have the flu, the 3yo has the flu, the 6yo gave us the flu, the hubby is sneezing. Doing well! Today though, with my rings sliding back and forth, I felt 'smaller' and I had loads of energy so I cleaned out the saucepan cupboard that hasn't been culled in a while. The Garbo Truck is going to hate my bin tomorrow. I needed to make room for an electric wok my mother gave us months ago, but it finally found a home today! I also found an electric Deep Fryer in the cupboard which I have used once in many years. The packaging said 'use three cups of oil' ... Three Cups of Oil??????? I put on five kilos just reading the box. My Mum was devoted to her deep fryer, thankfully I have no love for the evil machine. Maybe that should have found the bin too!
Tomorrow means it will be 7 months until it is Christmas Day. Oh hody ho ho ho and I still have THAT goal in the back of my head to be in double figures. I'm looking at a 19kg loss in 30 weeks ... I wonder, I wonder ......
Well, somehow I lost weight last week. On Monday I was almost 121kg, by Friday I was 118.8kg. I wasn't 110% angelic on WW but I didn't veer off track either. Toilet training is STILL happening here, not with me, but my 3yo 'ginger whinger'. Actually its not happening, I wish it would happen a little quicker, but it is a very long 'work in progress' and by 8pm the chardonney is going down very very nicely thank you very much. I yearn for the day he is completely toilet trained like his older brother is now, if not, my liver will be on the first bus out of here LOL
Right now though, I am feeling lousy. I have the flu, the 3yo has the flu, the 6yo gave us the flu, the hubby is sneezing. Doing well! Today though, with my rings sliding back and forth, I felt 'smaller' and I had loads of energy so I cleaned out the saucepan cupboard that hasn't been culled in a while. The Garbo Truck is going to hate my bin tomorrow. I needed to make room for an electric wok my mother gave us months ago, but it finally found a home today! I also found an electric Deep Fryer in the cupboard which I have used once in many years. The packaging said 'use three cups of oil' ... Three Cups of Oil??????? I put on five kilos just reading the box. My Mum was devoted to her deep fryer, thankfully I have no love for the evil machine. Maybe that should have found the bin too!
Tomorrow means it will be 7 months until it is Christmas Day. Oh hody ho ho ho and I still have THAT goal in the back of my head to be in double figures. I'm looking at a 19kg loss in 30 weeks ... I wonder, I wonder ......
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
18052010 - Missing in Action ;0)
Hellos followers. I've been bad, very bad ... I just realised I haven't blogged at all this month!! See what happens when you skid off the healthiness highway and go well and truly scrub!
My WW ways went a little 'scu-if' just after Easter and I just never got back to putting in 110% again as my Birthday followed, then illness and then a beautiful weekend away with my family for Mothers Day. I drunk farrrrr too much white wine and Kahlua (not together though!) and my hubby took me to a plush seafood restaurant and was introduced to ... oysters kilpatrick. My hubby and I tried oysters by themselves way back in 1998 and hated them, never tried them since but the waitress made a suggestion or three and now we loved cooked oysters. The WeightWatchers God will kill me!!
So I'm back on the track, again. And I got on the scales after blissfully ignoring them and yesterday I was 120.9, today I am 120kg. I was expecting alot worse, like 123 or 125kg, so all is good, but of course, could be better.
Today I attempted to clean up my wardrobe, I have stuff from at least 1986 in there! My bridesmaid outfit in 1988 from a shop called "Cassells", there. The Brissy Bullets Championship Tshirts from 1987, oh and a big pink tshirt I made at high school in 1984, no 'Made in China' on that baby! LOL. I can't find the guts to rid of this stuff! I also found gorgeous swimsuits, and I do remember buying them, but they are size 14! What the hell am I doing with size 14 in my wardrobes!!! People don't even see my swimwear these days because I wear seven layers of clothes over them when I do swim, when them blue moons appear when the pigs fly backwards doing sommersaults. So I can wishful think away and hope one day I'll fit into these skinny girls swimmers ... by then the elastic will probably be eroded LOL
Told you all it was going to be long journey .... ;0)
My WW ways went a little 'scu-if' just after Easter and I just never got back to putting in 110% again as my Birthday followed, then illness and then a beautiful weekend away with my family for Mothers Day. I drunk farrrrr too much white wine and Kahlua (not together though!) and my hubby took me to a plush seafood restaurant and was introduced to ... oysters kilpatrick. My hubby and I tried oysters by themselves way back in 1998 and hated them, never tried them since but the waitress made a suggestion or three and now we loved cooked oysters. The WeightWatchers God will kill me!!
So I'm back on the track, again. And I got on the scales after blissfully ignoring them and yesterday I was 120.9, today I am 120kg. I was expecting alot worse, like 123 or 125kg, so all is good, but of course, could be better.
Today I attempted to clean up my wardrobe, I have stuff from at least 1986 in there! My bridesmaid outfit in 1988 from a shop called "Cassells", there. The Brissy Bullets Championship Tshirts from 1987, oh and a big pink tshirt I made at high school in 1984, no 'Made in China' on that baby! LOL. I can't find the guts to rid of this stuff! I also found gorgeous swimsuits, and I do remember buying them, but they are size 14! What the hell am I doing with size 14 in my wardrobes!!! People don't even see my swimwear these days because I wear seven layers of clothes over them when I do swim, when them blue moons appear when the pigs fly backwards doing sommersaults. So I can wishful think away and hope one day I'll fit into these skinny girls swimmers ... by then the elastic will probably be eroded LOL
Told you all it was going to be long journey .... ;0)
Monday, April 19, 2010
19042010 - Need a Trade-in ... NOW
What a week. Never ends. Almost two weeks ago I caught the flu, almost two weeks later ... I still have flu - OVER IT! I suffered for a couple of days and thought I was recovering, until Thursday just gone. I couldn't get out of bed. Physically my body had NOTHING. There was no energy, I truly felt like I had been hit by a truck. I spent most of the day under the doner in bed, not fun at all. I have screamed many times about staying in bed all day and ignoring the world, but I didn't want to be sick in doing so!!!! Friday I was slightly better but three days later I am still blowing out and coughing up crap. UGH!
Well today I achieved another 'first'. I pushed myself and 14kg son in pram, despite the flu, 5.6km. I extended my morning walk by an hour and boy do I have wobbly knees or what!! I had pizza and wine last night and my birthday is in 4 days time ... be prepared they say LOL. I wasn't going to extend the walk as the flu really has flawed me but I stuck 'Shannan the BL Trainer' in my head and off I went. Up over another hill and off I went. I left son's school at 8.41am and got home at 9.41am, then used a website to figure out the distance I travelled ... 5.6km. Whoo hooo....
My last weigh-in was on Friday morn, I was at 117.5kg and according to the WW website my loss brought up a star for a 10% loss. Yay me :0)
Well today I achieved another 'first'. I pushed myself and 14kg son in pram, despite the flu, 5.6km. I extended my morning walk by an hour and boy do I have wobbly knees or what!! I had pizza and wine last night and my birthday is in 4 days time ... be prepared they say LOL. I wasn't going to extend the walk as the flu really has flawed me but I stuck 'Shannan the BL Trainer' in my head and off I went. Up over another hill and off I went. I left son's school at 8.41am and got home at 9.41am, then used a website to figure out the distance I travelled ... 5.6km. Whoo hooo....
My last weigh-in was on Friday morn, I was at 117.5kg and according to the WW website my loss brought up a star for a 10% loss. Yay me :0)
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
13042010 - Hello Highway
Well, we think we have finally discovered the on-ramp to that highway and off we go ... bwaaa ha ha ha. I've had a good day today. No, no, stop that applause now! I know its been a long time in coming, but todays a 'keeper'! ;0)
For starters, my eldest son returned to school after holidays, hello at least 40 minutes walking!!! Secondly, my youngest son - 'terror tot toilet trainer' - ran off to the toilet down the hallway ... at least forty times today, so there must be calorie burning brownie points for me somewhere, and lets not forget the continual crouching down when accompanying him to the toilet!! And thirdly, he only had one 'accident' and his 'number twos' made it into the porcelein - ITS BEEN A DARN GOOD DAY!!!
Oh and I almost forgot Number Four ... I somehow lost 600grams in 24hrs. There was no exercise, I am the zonked out phelgm monster at the moment and my scales register - 118.0kg. Thank you, I'll claim that :0) My next thing to do is to work out my goals as my birthday quickly approaches. I'm thinking 114.9kg by July or if I stretch it, maybe 109.9kg by Ekka time, early August, thats 8kg in 4mths. Its do-able but maybe high-hoping. On the positive side is, its getting cooler and I always find that I succeed better at these weight loss journeys when its cooler... mmmmm soup time!!
Then there's September ... FUN RUN TIME!!! Ohhhhhh, PICK YA SELVES UP OFF THE GROUND PEOPLE and STOP THE GIGGLING !!!!! Bwaaa ha ha ha ha ;0) For those not in Brisbane, our city has a 'fun-run' called "Bridge to Brisbane" every year, normally the first Sunday morn in September. Back in 2001, I attempted and finished it .... in a time of 2hrs and something ... eat ya heart out Steve Monegetti!!! Bwaaa ha ha. But I think I was 20kg lighter than what I am now too. The race starts at the bottom of the Gateway Bridge and you skull drag your backside up the bridge first before another 10+kg straight run or waddle ;0) Yeah, get the wicked bit out of the way first! But one of the truly wonderful memories I have in doing this race is, you finally get to the peak of the bridge and suddenly a jumbo jet roars over your head ... its just minutes from landing at Brissy Airport. Absolutely wonderful moment in time in my life. So, I have 4-5mths to think about this race. If I get under 110kg, I just might do it, not sure. Just another 'goal' to think about. Also, I want to see if the "St George Dragon" is still entering. The year I went, she tripped and couldn't get up, with 5000+ roaring up behind her. There was arms and legs going off like a cockroach who had overdosed on Mortein ... sorry, its a 'you had to be there' type of moment in time LOL
Ugh, what happened to my early night!!! Bwaaa ha ha ha ...
For starters, my eldest son returned to school after holidays, hello at least 40 minutes walking!!! Secondly, my youngest son - 'terror tot toilet trainer' - ran off to the toilet down the hallway ... at least forty times today, so there must be calorie burning brownie points for me somewhere, and lets not forget the continual crouching down when accompanying him to the toilet!! And thirdly, he only had one 'accident' and his 'number twos' made it into the porcelein - ITS BEEN A DARN GOOD DAY!!!
Oh and I almost forgot Number Four ... I somehow lost 600grams in 24hrs. There was no exercise, I am the zonked out phelgm monster at the moment and my scales register - 118.0kg. Thank you, I'll claim that :0) My next thing to do is to work out my goals as my birthday quickly approaches. I'm thinking 114.9kg by July or if I stretch it, maybe 109.9kg by Ekka time, early August, thats 8kg in 4mths. Its do-able but maybe high-hoping. On the positive side is, its getting cooler and I always find that I succeed better at these weight loss journeys when its cooler... mmmmm soup time!!
Then there's September ... FUN RUN TIME!!! Ohhhhhh, PICK YA SELVES UP OFF THE GROUND PEOPLE and STOP THE GIGGLING !!!!! Bwaaa ha ha ha ha ;0) For those not in Brisbane, our city has a 'fun-run' called "Bridge to Brisbane" every year, normally the first Sunday morn in September. Back in 2001, I attempted and finished it .... in a time of 2hrs and something ... eat ya heart out Steve Monegetti!!! Bwaaa ha ha. But I think I was 20kg lighter than what I am now too. The race starts at the bottom of the Gateway Bridge and you skull drag your backside up the bridge first before another 10+kg straight run or waddle ;0) Yeah, get the wicked bit out of the way first! But one of the truly wonderful memories I have in doing this race is, you finally get to the peak of the bridge and suddenly a jumbo jet roars over your head ... its just minutes from landing at Brissy Airport. Absolutely wonderful moment in time in my life. So, I have 4-5mths to think about this race. If I get under 110kg, I just might do it, not sure. Just another 'goal' to think about. Also, I want to see if the "St George Dragon" is still entering. The year I went, she tripped and couldn't get up, with 5000+ roaring up behind her. There was arms and legs going off like a cockroach who had overdosed on Mortein ... sorry, its a 'you had to be there' type of moment in time LOL
Ugh, what happened to my early night!!! Bwaaa ha ha ha ...
Monday, April 12, 2010
12042010 - I donnnn't believe it ...
Okay, let us jump on the honesty soap box for a while ... well, until my boys finish their morning tea and start distracting me yet again ;0) The past three weeks for me have been absolutely POOP-HOUSE! I could have used the "S" word but I'm being polite for a change ... LOL.
The past 3 weeks I have veered off my weight loss highway and have been off road driving thru some very rough terrein. I've hit the relationship potholes, the toilet training potholes (these ones will be continual me thinks!), the whoas me potholes, the "I feel like crap" potholes ... just to name a few. Yesterday I was not well at all and once again I had to cook dinner whilst my hubby lay sleeping downstairs. Was I happy whilst I was suffering the hot and cold chills??? No. I have most probably consumed a cellar full of wine in that time as well. I am not happy with myself, it is clear that I still can't control my 'emotional eating/drinking'.
But I knew one thing, I had to somehow veer back on that highway again. I don't want or like the rocky road I am on at the moment. I don't want to be this size anymore. So, this morning I got back on those scales again and I anticipated a big gain ... maybe 123kg, hey, I've had bucket loads of wine and ice cream, I was not kidding myself here. What did those scales of mine say??? 118.6kg ... I could not believe my eyes. 118.6???? Where and how and why??? Yes, I just finished period and normally I do have a big weight loss after that 'pleasurable' time of the month. But I still vision the wine, ice cream, cheese ... and I'm still 118.6!!!
And that was the boost I needed. Time to start again, hellllo Square One yet again LOL. Not all is as bad as I predicted. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be this 'up' if those scales did show up 122 or 123kg but to see 118.6kg, it was the rescue rope I desperately needed. I said at the very start I wanted to be 119.9 by the time my birthday came around in April. Well, I'm 11 days out from one birthday and thankfully I made my goal.
I see this journey like a game of "Snakes & Ladders" ... some days we will find those ladders to take us high ... and then there's the snakes, that will take us mighty low.
Fingers crossed I'm climbing that ladder again...
The past 3 weeks I have veered off my weight loss highway and have been off road driving thru some very rough terrein. I've hit the relationship potholes, the toilet training potholes (these ones will be continual me thinks!), the whoas me potholes, the "I feel like crap" potholes ... just to name a few. Yesterday I was not well at all and once again I had to cook dinner whilst my hubby lay sleeping downstairs. Was I happy whilst I was suffering the hot and cold chills??? No. I have most probably consumed a cellar full of wine in that time as well. I am not happy with myself, it is clear that I still can't control my 'emotional eating/drinking'.
But I knew one thing, I had to somehow veer back on that highway again. I don't want or like the rocky road I am on at the moment. I don't want to be this size anymore. So, this morning I got back on those scales again and I anticipated a big gain ... maybe 123kg, hey, I've had bucket loads of wine and ice cream, I was not kidding myself here. What did those scales of mine say??? 118.6kg ... I could not believe my eyes. 118.6???? Where and how and why??? Yes, I just finished period and normally I do have a big weight loss after that 'pleasurable' time of the month. But I still vision the wine, ice cream, cheese ... and I'm still 118.6!!!
And that was the boost I needed. Time to start again, hellllo Square One yet again LOL. Not all is as bad as I predicted. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be this 'up' if those scales did show up 122 or 123kg but to see 118.6kg, it was the rescue rope I desperately needed. I said at the very start I wanted to be 119.9 by the time my birthday came around in April. Well, I'm 11 days out from one birthday and thankfully I made my goal.
I see this journey like a game of "Snakes & Ladders" ... some days we will find those ladders to take us high ... and then there's the snakes, that will take us mighty low.
Fingers crossed I'm climbing that ladder again...
Saturday, April 10, 2010
10042010 - Still strugglin' ...
Yep, still struggling to get back on the Weight Loss Highway. I am for sure stuck on the bumpy off-road at the moment!!! Its been a truly crappy week. Its school holidays and we are all sick with the flu, every single one of us. Stuffy heads, crappy nose, chucky coughs and also throw in one anti-toilet training terror tot. Oh whoas-me ... LOL. However, the neighbour issues have temporarily ceased and I'm doing my darnest to become Brisbane's new "Mrs Mangel" to discover wants happened. The brats have been grounded inside their house, their mother who confronted us is missing in action, most probably in hospital, at 28wks pregnant with twins. As much as her attitude has sent our blood pressure up, we hope she and her bubs are okay :0(
But there is one little teeny weeny bit of good news. This morning, I did a naughty. I went to the shops without having breakfast. A big no no if you are trying to lose weight. I wanted to get to the shops early enough for a car park and to be first up at the hairdressers, which I achieved ... with no food in the belly. So, after haircut, I go to big Westfield eatery for my breakky. I stood and looked at McDonalds breakky menu and literally, my stomach turned. Bacon Mc Muffin, Sausage McMuffin, grease, grease and have some more grease with your grease ... would you like fries with your grease LOL. I had no love for the McDonalds empire, so I moved along. I had a Subway Roast Chicken Sub instead, and under 6kgs of fat thank you very much. Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't have left the house without breakfast in the first place ... but have you seen the queue outside "Just Cutz" at 9.10am on a Saturday morn?? I rest my case ;0)
So fingers crossed I find the smooth highway of weight loss in the new week as son goes back to school for Term 2 and hopefully all head colds will clear so I can get active yet again.
And yes, I'm too chicken this week to get out the scales ....
But there is one little teeny weeny bit of good news. This morning, I did a naughty. I went to the shops without having breakfast. A big no no if you are trying to lose weight. I wanted to get to the shops early enough for a car park and to be first up at the hairdressers, which I achieved ... with no food in the belly. So, after haircut, I go to big Westfield eatery for my breakky. I stood and looked at McDonalds breakky menu and literally, my stomach turned. Bacon Mc Muffin, Sausage McMuffin, grease, grease and have some more grease with your grease ... would you like fries with your grease LOL. I had no love for the McDonalds empire, so I moved along. I had a Subway Roast Chicken Sub instead, and under 6kgs of fat thank you very much. Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't have left the house without breakfast in the first place ... but have you seen the queue outside "Just Cutz" at 9.10am on a Saturday morn?? I rest my case ;0)
So fingers crossed I find the smooth highway of weight loss in the new week as son goes back to school for Term 2 and hopefully all head colds will clear so I can get active yet again.
And yes, I'm too chicken this week to get out the scales ....
Saturday, April 3, 2010
03042010 - Still wriggling ...
Dang, this pothole is tough to get out of ;0) Anyone want to throw me down a rope???
Yes, I'm still doin' my darnest to get wriggling out of dreaded pothole of 'couldn't give a damn-ness' and onto the 'highway of healthiness' again. If its not one thing, its another. Now we have neighbour 'issues' driving us insane, making us drink many mugs of wine and consume well, nothing naughty really, just wine ;0) I mean, how dare we complain about their darlings using our busy road as their private playground. How dare we, huh??? Weeks ago 'Mummy Dearest' swore to us that 'my boys don't dare play on the street', to the current 'They play safely on the street and always move if cars approach..." Bulllll crapppp. If its not relationship issssues, and the 'don't give a damn' family next door .... it can also be the Easter Bunny's responsibility that them eggs somehow end up in my belly. Shakes angry fist at the naughty Easter Bunny.... watch out Easter Bunny, Anna Bligh might sell you too! (Sorry, thats QLD humour there!)
This week I haven't got the guts or balls to jump on my scales, weigh in was supposed to be yesterday morning. I know I've most probably jumped back up into the 120kgs yet again. My biggest hurdle this upcoming week, despite avoiding anymore of them horribly tasting choccie easter eggs, is when and where am I going to exercise. My son is now on school holidays for about 10 days, so there goes my hill climbs!!! If its not one thing, its another!!!
Yesterday, was Good Friday here in Oz and instead of sitting home staring vaguely into a Facebook screen, we actually WENT OUT!!! Yeah, I got parole for the day ;0) We were invited to a very big bike ride which happens every Good Friday and somehow we haven't attended before. Probably because 'the hubby' wasn't the keen cyclist he is trying to be at the moment. He has gotten right into cycling and has a couple of 'attachments' for our two sons to accompany him. You are waiting to read what kind of bike I have, aren't you???? Well firstly i still consider myself far too fat for a bike at present. Secondly I have NEVER riden a bicycle, at all. Well I used to love riding a school mate's girly dragster in the late 1970s, but thats it. My mother refused to buy me a bike, so I never learnt or experience riding like one would today. Thirdly, the last time I rode anything with two wheels ie. a Gold Coast moped, I crashed head first into an apartment wall, my glass lens popped out and sliced my face apart, just missing my right eye. This all happened on the day an earthquake shattered Newcastle in NSW in 1989. So the likes of Anna Meares, Lance Armstrong have absolutely nothing to worry about ;0)
Anyways, yesterdays bike ride, family thing, hubby rode with 37kg of sons behind him. Starting at Sandgate, reaching eastern side of Redcliffe and back again. I drove ;0) , someone had to transport the morning tea ... LOL . So we shall see how my journey on the weight loss highway goes for the next 50 odd weeks and see if I join in the 'bike train' next year. Even if I lost 50kg, I still don't know if I could do it. Like I said, I've never really riden a bike and I still remember smashing my fat head against that solid brick wall, unfortunately that memory will not fade :0(
Oh, how I wish I could buy a bucket load of confidence ....
Yes, I'm still doin' my darnest to get wriggling out of dreaded pothole of 'couldn't give a damn-ness' and onto the 'highway of healthiness' again. If its not one thing, its another. Now we have neighbour 'issues' driving us insane, making us drink many mugs of wine and consume well, nothing naughty really, just wine ;0) I mean, how dare we complain about their darlings using our busy road as their private playground. How dare we, huh??? Weeks ago 'Mummy Dearest' swore to us that 'my boys don't dare play on the street', to the current 'They play safely on the street and always move if cars approach..." Bulllll crapppp. If its not relationship issssues, and the 'don't give a damn' family next door .... it can also be the Easter Bunny's responsibility that them eggs somehow end up in my belly. Shakes angry fist at the naughty Easter Bunny.... watch out Easter Bunny, Anna Bligh might sell you too! (Sorry, thats QLD humour there!)
This week I haven't got the guts or balls to jump on my scales, weigh in was supposed to be yesterday morning. I know I've most probably jumped back up into the 120kgs yet again. My biggest hurdle this upcoming week, despite avoiding anymore of them horribly tasting choccie easter eggs, is when and where am I going to exercise. My son is now on school holidays for about 10 days, so there goes my hill climbs!!! If its not one thing, its another!!!
Yesterday, was Good Friday here in Oz and instead of sitting home staring vaguely into a Facebook screen, we actually WENT OUT!!! Yeah, I got parole for the day ;0) We were invited to a very big bike ride which happens every Good Friday and somehow we haven't attended before. Probably because 'the hubby' wasn't the keen cyclist he is trying to be at the moment. He has gotten right into cycling and has a couple of 'attachments' for our two sons to accompany him. You are waiting to read what kind of bike I have, aren't you???? Well firstly i still consider myself far too fat for a bike at present. Secondly I have NEVER riden a bicycle, at all. Well I used to love riding a school mate's girly dragster in the late 1970s, but thats it. My mother refused to buy me a bike, so I never learnt or experience riding like one would today. Thirdly, the last time I rode anything with two wheels ie. a Gold Coast moped, I crashed head first into an apartment wall, my glass lens popped out and sliced my face apart, just missing my right eye. This all happened on the day an earthquake shattered Newcastle in NSW in 1989. So the likes of Anna Meares, Lance Armstrong have absolutely nothing to worry about ;0)
Anyways, yesterdays bike ride, family thing, hubby rode with 37kg of sons behind him. Starting at Sandgate, reaching eastern side of Redcliffe and back again. I drove ;0) , someone had to transport the morning tea ... LOL . So we shall see how my journey on the weight loss highway goes for the next 50 odd weeks and see if I join in the 'bike train' next year. Even if I lost 50kg, I still don't know if I could do it. Like I said, I've never really riden a bike and I still remember smashing my fat head against that solid brick wall, unfortunately that memory will not fade :0(
Oh, how I wish I could buy a bucket load of confidence ....
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
30032010 - Friggin' Blood Pressure
It seems my "Word of the Month" is "Friggin" at the moment - LOL
Well I went to the local GP this morning to receive my annual prescriptions for the Pill and asthma medications. Another new doctor, another lecture about 'have you wondered about exercising???' Yes I do wonder, alot, its fun, but 'wondering' doesn't burn calories sweetie! I got lectured about exercise, diet, healthy eating and then I told her I've been on WW since New Year and she seemed to not believe me. She well and truly didn't believe me after my blood pressure reading of 146/78. Farrrrrrrrk. I couldn't even blame my boys as they weren't going bonkers as per usual. After the past two weeks of knowing where I stand here, I shouldn't be surprised either. Bloody 146 though. How many calories can I burn when I head butt my head on a very solid brick wall???? Will that lower my blood pressure??
I sit here crying, not knowing how to lower this friggin' blood pressure. Yes I know, more exercise, less eating. And she's put the wind up me, telling me all about strokes and how 'the pill' really isn't helping me health wise. Yes it is! Its stopping me having more children that will drive me around another bend!!!
Frigggin, Friggin and more Friggin!
Well I went to the local GP this morning to receive my annual prescriptions for the Pill and asthma medications. Another new doctor, another lecture about 'have you wondered about exercising???' Yes I do wonder, alot, its fun, but 'wondering' doesn't burn calories sweetie! I got lectured about exercise, diet, healthy eating and then I told her I've been on WW since New Year and she seemed to not believe me. She well and truly didn't believe me after my blood pressure reading of 146/78. Farrrrrrrrk. I couldn't even blame my boys as they weren't going bonkers as per usual. After the past two weeks of knowing where I stand here, I shouldn't be surprised either. Bloody 146 though. How many calories can I burn when I head butt my head on a very solid brick wall???? Will that lower my blood pressure??
I sit here crying, not knowing how to lower this friggin' blood pressure. Yes I know, more exercise, less eating. And she's put the wind up me, telling me all about strokes and how 'the pill' really isn't helping me health wise. Yes it is! Its stopping me having more children that will drive me around another bend!!!
Frigggin, Friggin and more Friggin!
Monday, March 29, 2010
29032010 - Hit a friggin' pothole ...
I really don't feel like blogging now. I did 10 minutes ago but someone 'intelligent' in BlogLand decided to stuff about with log-ins and Google and passwords and ten minutes later I am finally get here! If it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT!
Well, its been a shocking couple of weeks for me. I've hit a huge pot hole and I'm still trying to worm out of it. I simply have had a gutful. Once again more important things have knocked my plans out of the way. I thought it would be nice for our family to go away, just for two nights for my birthday which falls on a Friday this year. Last year's birthday wasn't a success, so I was hoping to take my boys away to celebrate in our own way. We have never gone away as a family, our last holiday was our honeymoon way way way back in 2003. Our two night getaway would have been good timing, not in school holidays, wouldn't have been that expensive and then as per ruddy usual we got 'THE' phone call. In four short words "Family event, must go" Slap bang on the weekend we were to go away and because its family we don't say no, do we. I couldn't believe it, every time a plan starts to get off the ground, its knocked to the ground and smashed to pieces. Once again something I wanted to do, as a family, is blow torched and we stay home yet again. So any teeny weeny tiny bit of confidence I gained over the past 3mths was blow-torched to smithereens. Right now I seem to be on the bottom of the 'to do list' around this place. UGHHHH! So friggin' tired of the 'same shit, different day syndrome' here.
And if 'home problems' isn't enough to break me, there's toilet training a three year old stubborn hyperactive terrorist. It's just not happening. He gets the urgency of going to a potty, but its getting him to sit down for more than five seconds is the problem. Then he holds 'it in' and then has breakdowns when there's a waterfall happening down his legs. It just looks like there is no light happening down that tunnel at the moment ...
So the past two weeks, I've had far too much wine to ease the emotional pain. Food wise I haven't been that bad and I could have been better at the exercise but yep, I hit a big pothole. A week ago my weight shot back over the 120kg mark and I was 121kg and I wasn't surprised. On Friday morning just gone I was 119.9kg. I have to drill into the mental side of this journey and get my act together. I know where I stand on the 'priority' list in this family, and truefully I don't think its ever going to change. Ugggggggh, and just to wind me up furtherer our neighbour has been high pressure hosing for three hours and I just want to jump the fence and turn the blasted thing off!!!!!!!
So, it hasn't been the best of times around here .... desperately seeking light at the end of the very long tunnel.
Well, its been a shocking couple of weeks for me. I've hit a huge pot hole and I'm still trying to worm out of it. I simply have had a gutful. Once again more important things have knocked my plans out of the way. I thought it would be nice for our family to go away, just for two nights for my birthday which falls on a Friday this year. Last year's birthday wasn't a success, so I was hoping to take my boys away to celebrate in our own way. We have never gone away as a family, our last holiday was our honeymoon way way way back in 2003. Our two night getaway would have been good timing, not in school holidays, wouldn't have been that expensive and then as per ruddy usual we got 'THE' phone call. In four short words "Family event, must go" Slap bang on the weekend we were to go away and because its family we don't say no, do we. I couldn't believe it, every time a plan starts to get off the ground, its knocked to the ground and smashed to pieces. Once again something I wanted to do, as a family, is blow torched and we stay home yet again. So any teeny weeny tiny bit of confidence I gained over the past 3mths was blow-torched to smithereens. Right now I seem to be on the bottom of the 'to do list' around this place. UGHHHH! So friggin' tired of the 'same shit, different day syndrome' here.
And if 'home problems' isn't enough to break me, there's toilet training a three year old stubborn hyperactive terrorist. It's just not happening. He gets the urgency of going to a potty, but its getting him to sit down for more than five seconds is the problem. Then he holds 'it in' and then has breakdowns when there's a waterfall happening down his legs. It just looks like there is no light happening down that tunnel at the moment ...
So the past two weeks, I've had far too much wine to ease the emotional pain. Food wise I haven't been that bad and I could have been better at the exercise but yep, I hit a big pothole. A week ago my weight shot back over the 120kg mark and I was 121kg and I wasn't surprised. On Friday morning just gone I was 119.9kg. I have to drill into the mental side of this journey and get my act together. I know where I stand on the 'priority' list in this family, and truefully I don't think its ever going to change. Ugggggggh, and just to wind me up furtherer our neighbour has been high pressure hosing for three hours and I just want to jump the fence and turn the blasted thing off!!!!!!!
So, it hasn't been the best of times around here .... desperately seeking light at the end of the very long tunnel.
Monday, March 15, 2010
15032010 - Tah tah 120kgs ....
Well today is a VERY good day .... my weight has dropped out of the 120kgs range and into the 100-teens i.e. 119.4kg! No more 120something where I have been for at least a year. I was 119.9 late last week and this morning I am 119.4 and I feel so good about it. Initially when I first started this journey back in January, I said my first major goal was to be 119.9kg by my birthday in late April. Well I have just under six weeks to go to my birthday and I made goal number one! Let's see if I can get to 115kg in 5wks. In 2008 I had lost 15kg and was 115.8 for a friend's wedding, and of course I whacked all the weight back on again due to personal reasons. Also a next goal could be to say I've lost 15kg, the current weight of my 3yo son!!! And boy, I groan when I pick him up of late!!!! LOL
Energy levels are picking up every day and the god damned tummy overhang is shrinking and not as cumbersome as it has been for years on end. When I walk up the stairs, I don't feel that weighsome overhang that I had to drag everywhere. Well, its still there, well and truly, but not as heavy.
Energy wise, its getting better every day! Last week I cleaned up the pantry and on Saturday I weeded at least two sections of our backyard. The biggest section of our back yard has yet to be done, thats all set for a good dosing of weed killer!!! My gosh its simply too feral for me to weed!
AND my biggest 'achievement' is ... I have started to add jogging into my morning walks as of this morning. I know weeks ago I spoke of jogging to my music DVDs where no one can see me. But this morning I started jogging in segments on my walk home from school this morning. I'm not game to jog up the big hills as yet but for three segments of my walk, I JOGGED!!
Back to motherhood, we have recommenced toilet training ... no accidents yet but he won't sit on the potty for more than five seconds. Oh its going to be a lonnnnnng week ;0)
Energy levels are picking up every day and the god damned tummy overhang is shrinking and not as cumbersome as it has been for years on end. When I walk up the stairs, I don't feel that weighsome overhang that I had to drag everywhere. Well, its still there, well and truly, but not as heavy.
Energy wise, its getting better every day! Last week I cleaned up the pantry and on Saturday I weeded at least two sections of our backyard. The biggest section of our back yard has yet to be done, thats all set for a good dosing of weed killer!!! My gosh its simply too feral for me to weed!
AND my biggest 'achievement' is ... I have started to add jogging into my morning walks as of this morning. I know weeks ago I spoke of jogging to my music DVDs where no one can see me. But this morning I started jogging in segments on my walk home from school this morning. I'm not game to jog up the big hills as yet but for three segments of my walk, I JOGGED!!
Back to motherhood, we have recommenced toilet training ... no accidents yet but he won't sit on the potty for more than five seconds. Oh its going to be a lonnnnnng week ;0)
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
09032010 - Still lurking about ... :0)
Hellos, miss me much? :0) I swore when I commenced this weight-loss journey that I was going to blog every single day, noting down every single emotion I faced .... bwaaa ha ha ha, just didn't happen did it! Don't worry, I certainly haven't thrown in the towel and given up, I've just gotten stuck in some sort of 'zone'. I've had all sorts of 'issues' being thrown at me from every corner: friends ignoring me, other friends using Facebook to have shots at me across the world wide web instead of to my face and my youngest son is, well, exhausting. Numerous tantrums, refusal to eat dinner, destroying every thing in his reach ... today's 'victim' was his bedroom timber blinds ... he has already broken his brother's blinds. And don't start me on the wonders of toilet training featuring 'Conan the Destroyer' - LOL. Then there's schooling 'issues' with our eldest son, so when bedtime hits for them, its so hard to avoid a wine or three, but I'm doing okay. But I have hit a couple of pot holes in the past two weeks eg. copped the flu and ate some purely CRAPPY oil that had a couple of tiny bits of battered fish in it at the AC/DC concert. Ewww, I am still getting cold shivers reminising that truly horrible dinner. That night I wanted to have dinner at a local restaurant, however my hubby just wanted to get to the concert venue. At the venue I had a choice of greasy hamburger or oil with teeny weeny bits of fish and chips. WONDERFUL! Where's a goddamn Subway outlet when you need one????
Last week I didn't do much 'burning off' to compensate for the meal of oil! It poured rain for days here. I did do the usual walk up the hill every day to school and back and got wet several times but I just didn't do the 'big walks' that I usually achieve. Sunday we had chinese takeaway for dinner and once again my taste buds started to protest. I ate half my plate and could not go any further. I love chinese food but my belly no longer wants that amount of fat invading it I guess. Same with the 'oil and fish' at the concert, I couldn't finish that either, they all tasted horrible.
This week marks my tenth week on Weight Watchers, I think. I sort of lost count a couple of weeks ago, LOL, but I am pretty sure I am up to Week 10. Well I passed the two-month mark last week on the 4th. And I'm proud to say that I've lost ... drum-roll please ... 10.4kg! YAY ME!!!
Despite the many 'issues', problems or 'oil meals' thrown at me, I have learnt not to stay stuck for months in obesity hell. Previously lifes little/huge curve balls would be launched at me and I would fall and stay down and out. But now, I get back up again and start my day like its my first on Weight Watchers. Yeah I still have the occassional chinese takeaway and yes I still drink wine on weekends and yes I could have lost alot more weight if I cut out those two. But I am 10.4kg lighter than I was two months ago. Today I have more energy, this week I cleaned out our kitchen pantry ... its been years since I've attempted that! My next 'achievement' will be our over grown jungle of a back yard. My god it is feral after all the rain. I don't need a green thumb, I need a bulldozer!
My next WW goal is 119.9 ... fingers crossed that magic number appears on my scales by next Monday morn :0)
Last week I didn't do much 'burning off' to compensate for the meal of oil! It poured rain for days here. I did do the usual walk up the hill every day to school and back and got wet several times but I just didn't do the 'big walks' that I usually achieve. Sunday we had chinese takeaway for dinner and once again my taste buds started to protest. I ate half my plate and could not go any further. I love chinese food but my belly no longer wants that amount of fat invading it I guess. Same with the 'oil and fish' at the concert, I couldn't finish that either, they all tasted horrible.
This week marks my tenth week on Weight Watchers, I think. I sort of lost count a couple of weeks ago, LOL, but I am pretty sure I am up to Week 10. Well I passed the two-month mark last week on the 4th. And I'm proud to say that I've lost ... drum-roll please ... 10.4kg! YAY ME!!!
Despite the many 'issues', problems or 'oil meals' thrown at me, I have learnt not to stay stuck for months in obesity hell. Previously lifes little/huge curve balls would be launched at me and I would fall and stay down and out. But now, I get back up again and start my day like its my first on Weight Watchers. Yeah I still have the occassional chinese takeaway and yes I still drink wine on weekends and yes I could have lost alot more weight if I cut out those two. But I am 10.4kg lighter than I was two months ago. Today I have more energy, this week I cleaned out our kitchen pantry ... its been years since I've attempted that! My next 'achievement' will be our over grown jungle of a back yard. My god it is feral after all the rain. I don't need a green thumb, I need a bulldozer!
My next WW goal is 119.9 ... fingers crossed that magic number appears on my scales by next Monday morn :0)
Saturday, February 20, 2010
20022010 - Weight Loss Worries
Got to love Saturdays ;0) Hmmmm the silence of Saturdays, the boys are going out with Daddy, the noisy brats in my neighbourhood are absent. Its just me and the computer ... :0)
Now where was I ... that's right, not really a whinge but a 'worry' today. How much is too much weight to lose in a week?? I won't ask them "Biggest Loser" producers. If I see another one of them contestants whinge that a 2kg loss is tragic and terrible, they better start running!! LOL. Back on topic Janelle! Okay, on 8.2.2010 (a Monday) I was 125.2, 12.02 (Friday) 123.4, 17.02 (Wednesday just gone) 123kg .... today 121.6.... WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING???? That's almost 4kg in 2 weeks. Am I being paranoid or do I have reason to worry people??? I should be doing the "Biggest Loser" shocked OH MY GAWWWD ecstatic high-five celebration dance but I'm not. I haven't dramatically reduced my food intake or upped my exercise from any other normal week, so what is happening with the sudden kilo shedding???
I started the week with what I thought were unusual indigestion pains in my chest. They didn't hurt, just annoyed and now have passed. For the past 4 nights I am more exhausted than normal and falling asleep at my computer at 8pm, which is unusual for me. Last night, the usual thing I do on Friday nights, I filled up my glass with white wine ... took me 40 minutes to finish it instead of 4 minutes, VERY UNUSUAL!!! By 9.15pm, I was in bed. I started to think was I eating enough?? To be trueful I haven't changed my dietary needs since starting WW and I'm sticking to my points schedule. Maybe its time to start consuming MultiVitamins of some sort ... or, eeeeeeek, go and visit my doctor! I'm just trying to figure out why after almost 7 weeks on WW that my body is protesting in some unusual matter.
AND I CAN'T GET SICK OR GO TO HOSPITAL THIS WEEK!!!!
This week is our 7th wedding anniversery and 3 days later ... ear plugs people, AC/DC concert. Not allowed to get sick .... not allowed to get sick .... not allowed to get sick ......
Now where was I ... that's right, not really a whinge but a 'worry' today. How much is too much weight to lose in a week?? I won't ask them "Biggest Loser" producers. If I see another one of them contestants whinge that a 2kg loss is tragic and terrible, they better start running!! LOL. Back on topic Janelle! Okay, on 8.2.2010 (a Monday) I was 125.2, 12.02 (Friday) 123.4, 17.02 (Wednesday just gone) 123kg .... today 121.6.... WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING???? That's almost 4kg in 2 weeks. Am I being paranoid or do I have reason to worry people??? I should be doing the "Biggest Loser" shocked OH MY GAWWWD ecstatic high-five celebration dance but I'm not. I haven't dramatically reduced my food intake or upped my exercise from any other normal week, so what is happening with the sudden kilo shedding???
I started the week with what I thought were unusual indigestion pains in my chest. They didn't hurt, just annoyed and now have passed. For the past 4 nights I am more exhausted than normal and falling asleep at my computer at 8pm, which is unusual for me. Last night, the usual thing I do on Friday nights, I filled up my glass with white wine ... took me 40 minutes to finish it instead of 4 minutes, VERY UNUSUAL!!! By 9.15pm, I was in bed. I started to think was I eating enough?? To be trueful I haven't changed my dietary needs since starting WW and I'm sticking to my points schedule. Maybe its time to start consuming MultiVitamins of some sort ... or, eeeeeeek, go and visit my doctor! I'm just trying to figure out why after almost 7 weeks on WW that my body is protesting in some unusual matter.
AND I CAN'T GET SICK OR GO TO HOSPITAL THIS WEEK!!!!
This week is our 7th wedding anniversery and 3 days later ... ear plugs people, AC/DC concert. Not allowed to get sick .... not allowed to get sick .... not allowed to get sick ......
Thursday, February 18, 2010
18022010 - Another small step...
I knew from the start that this weight journey was going to be a very long journey, its just sometimes I have troubles in accepting it will be a very long journey. I have always been an inpatient person from day dot, so I was always going to have problems in patiently waiting for my body to shrink.
It wasn't until this week that I realised that this week is WEEK SEVEN. I think I got to Week Four and mentally stayed there, a bit like "Ground Hog Day" - same poop, different day! But I am in the middle of Week Seven and honestly, I believe I could have lost more weight than I have. I am not disappointed with the WW system, no way. I am disappointed in myself for not having 110% willpower. White wine has been my downfall and my potholes in this weight loss adventure. A few 'issues' have arisen since late January eg. a hot head of a 3yr old child, my credit card being skimmed, my eldest child's teacher pinpointing every flaw of my child and the non-event which is Valentines Day ... just to name a few. So i turned to the evil wine cask in the fridge. I was just going to have one, then came another and another. It just goes to show I still have mental issues to sort out and with some of those issues, I have no idea how to cope with them without alcohol. But I must say, I have done alright this week. I haven't had a wine since Sunday or Saturday, honestly can't remember. I could have drunk an entire bottle last night, kids had crossed that line too many times, but the mouth ulcers under my tongue couldn't bare any 'nasty' that would make them worse.
I'm also a tad nervous at present. This week, all of a sudden, I've been suffering dull aches in my chest like a form of indigestion or heartburn. Its certainly not the 'usual' indigestion I normally get. It comes and goes every couple of minutes and the longer this goes on, the more anxious I'm becoming. There's a radio announcer here in our town who recently described his experience with a heart attack. He tells the story that the heart pain isn't the sudden stabbing pain that you always see on TV/Movies but more like an indigestion pain after a bad kebab. Mmmmm Kebab, I wish I could have a kebab, then I could at least blame the delicious yet disgusting thing!!!
I shall end on some good news. This morning's weigh-in figure was 122.6kg, a total lost of 8kg in 7wks. Imagine how much more I could have lost if I ignored the wine! So in January I lost 6kg, in February its almost been 3kg. The clothes are certainly alot looser around my hips and my stomach 'overhang' isn't as enormous as it was. The Maundrell 'Mountains' I skull drag the pram & 14kg boy up almost every day are getting easier to climb too.
And Rome certainly wasn't built in a day ......
It wasn't until this week that I realised that this week is WEEK SEVEN. I think I got to Week Four and mentally stayed there, a bit like "Ground Hog Day" - same poop, different day! But I am in the middle of Week Seven and honestly, I believe I could have lost more weight than I have. I am not disappointed with the WW system, no way. I am disappointed in myself for not having 110% willpower. White wine has been my downfall and my potholes in this weight loss adventure. A few 'issues' have arisen since late January eg. a hot head of a 3yr old child, my credit card being skimmed, my eldest child's teacher pinpointing every flaw of my child and the non-event which is Valentines Day ... just to name a few. So i turned to the evil wine cask in the fridge. I was just going to have one, then came another and another. It just goes to show I still have mental issues to sort out and with some of those issues, I have no idea how to cope with them without alcohol. But I must say, I have done alright this week. I haven't had a wine since Sunday or Saturday, honestly can't remember. I could have drunk an entire bottle last night, kids had crossed that line too many times, but the mouth ulcers under my tongue couldn't bare any 'nasty' that would make them worse.
I'm also a tad nervous at present. This week, all of a sudden, I've been suffering dull aches in my chest like a form of indigestion or heartburn. Its certainly not the 'usual' indigestion I normally get. It comes and goes every couple of minutes and the longer this goes on, the more anxious I'm becoming. There's a radio announcer here in our town who recently described his experience with a heart attack. He tells the story that the heart pain isn't the sudden stabbing pain that you always see on TV/Movies but more like an indigestion pain after a bad kebab. Mmmmm Kebab, I wish I could have a kebab, then I could at least blame the delicious yet disgusting thing!!!
I shall end on some good news. This morning's weigh-in figure was 122.6kg, a total lost of 8kg in 7wks. Imagine how much more I could have lost if I ignored the wine! So in January I lost 6kg, in February its almost been 3kg. The clothes are certainly alot looser around my hips and my stomach 'overhang' isn't as enormous as it was. The Maundrell 'Mountains' I skull drag the pram & 14kg boy up almost every day are getting easier to climb too.
And Rome certainly wasn't built in a day ......
Friday, February 5, 2010
05022010 - 4kilos is how heavy??
Last night, I went grocery shopping ... big deal huh??? The majority of the time I'm looking & comparing prices on this and that. Last night, a 4 kilo bag of potatoes was cheaper than the per kilo ones. I picked up one bag of 4 kg of spuds and was amazed. By gingoes spuds are amazing aren't they? ;0) But I'm talking about the weight of the bag, 4 kilos. It was heavy. Firstly I've lost more that 4 kilos, I have now lost almost double that, 7.1kg. Then I thought for a moment, for a very long time I have been carrying up to 60kg more than I should ... 60kilos!!! If I thought a 4kg bag of spuds was heavy, what have I been thinking when I've been carrying at least ten times of that amount around for at least ten years!!
Well back to today, today is a fantastic day. I have had a fantastic Weight Watching week. On Monday morning I weighed in at 126.2 I think, a gain of 1.6kg in a week!!! Today I weighed in at 123.6 - a weekly loss of 2.6kg and a total loss of 7.1kg. I left a kilo on Darwin Street, then another up the mountain of Maundrell Terrace ... so, please do not return to sender. Those mountains are wicked. Monday and Tuesday hill climbs were exhausting but great as we had very cloudy weather, no hot sun burning down on us. Wednesday I went walking to the local shops. Yesterday and today, the sun is back and burning and make my treks a tad difficult ... BUT MY HEART IS STILL PUMPING AND I AM ALIVE!!!
My first big goal was to be 119kg by 23 April, my birthday. It maybe time to revise the goal situation. If I get truly serious, no wine, no 'enjoyment', I can most probably get to 119kg by 25 February, our night out at AC/DC concert. That is in three weeks time last night, that is at least a one kilo loss per week. Hmmmm, achievable??? Let's see huh .....
Well back to today, today is a fantastic day. I have had a fantastic Weight Watching week. On Monday morning I weighed in at 126.2 I think, a gain of 1.6kg in a week!!! Today I weighed in at 123.6 - a weekly loss of 2.6kg and a total loss of 7.1kg. I left a kilo on Darwin Street, then another up the mountain of Maundrell Terrace ... so, please do not return to sender. Those mountains are wicked. Monday and Tuesday hill climbs were exhausting but great as we had very cloudy weather, no hot sun burning down on us. Wednesday I went walking to the local shops. Yesterday and today, the sun is back and burning and make my treks a tad difficult ... BUT MY HEART IS STILL PUMPING AND I AM ALIVE!!!
My first big goal was to be 119kg by 23 April, my birthday. It maybe time to revise the goal situation. If I get truly serious, no wine, no 'enjoyment', I can most probably get to 119kg by 25 February, our night out at AC/DC concert. That is in three weeks time last night, that is at least a one kilo loss per week. Hmmmm, achievable??? Let's see huh .....
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
02022010 - Vent of the day
Well for two days in a row I achieved a great hill walk. All up I walk for 40 minutes that includes two huge hill climbs. I come home and log onto WW to add exercise to tracker and I am a tad frustrated.
If I go for a 40 minute walk with no hill climbs = 1 pt per 10 minutes
If I do aerobic/dancing/joggin for 40minutes = 1 pt per 10 minutes
If I go for a 40min walk with a trillion hill climbs included = 1 pt per 10mins.
Get the picture. No matter how much I sweat, pant or carry on ... its all 1pt for 10minutes .... THAT NOT FAIR WEIGHT WATCHERS!!!!!!!!
Climbing off soap box now, that maybe 1pt for 10mins too!!!
Good news though, my weight came down THANKFULLY, I'm back to be 125.4. Yay! I've also joined a motherhood website 12wk challenge that is running against the showing of "The Biggest Loser". I said I hoped to be 118kg by mid- April. I would like to be 115kg but realistically I settled for 118. After gaining 1.5kg the past week, I'm not getting too far ahead of myself anymore!
If I go for a 40 minute walk with no hill climbs = 1 pt per 10 minutes
If I do aerobic/dancing/joggin for 40minutes = 1 pt per 10 minutes
If I go for a 40min walk with a trillion hill climbs included = 1 pt per 10mins.
Get the picture. No matter how much I sweat, pant or carry on ... its all 1pt for 10minutes .... THAT NOT FAIR WEIGHT WATCHERS!!!!!!!!
Climbing off soap box now, that maybe 1pt for 10mins too!!!
Good news though, my weight came down THANKFULLY, I'm back to be 125.4. Yay! I've also joined a motherhood website 12wk challenge that is running against the showing of "The Biggest Loser". I said I hoped to be 118kg by mid- April. I would like to be 115kg but realistically I settled for 118. After gaining 1.5kg the past week, I'm not getting too far ahead of myself anymore!
Monday, February 1, 2010
01022010 - Back to Square One
Hello everyone and yes, it has been a while between posts. Last week wasn't the best of weeks. I think I started getting 'wobbly legs' the day I started prepping food for my son's 3rd birthday ten days ago. Since then, I have been out of sorts. My exercise routine went out the door, our weather was as hot as a baker's oven, mmmm baker's oven - LOL!
Then fast forward to this morning and the weekly official weigh-in and the poop hit the fan ... I had re-entered the 126ers and I have no one to blame but myself. Too little movement + too much wine = extra kilos. I didn't go near a takeaway joint or order home delivery, I just didn't move my backside. I did walk my son to school for 3 days, up that mongrel hill and back, but 5 hours later I was drinking wine. However, not all is bad as my tape measure never fails me. Despite the extra kilo and a bit, I have lost a centimetre from my hips and waist lines. So not all is terrible.
This morning after the weigh-in and measurements, I walked my son to school again at, lets nick name it "Mongrel Hill". Its not officially named but believe me, its a mongrel of a hill!!! I have decided to put my 3yo back in his pram too. He should be walking himself but last week, with THAT hill wearing him out, he demanded me to carry him home at times. So, he is back in the pram and I am walking at a decent speed and not slowly dawdling as I was with him. Today we extended the morning walk, to include another 'Mongrel Hill' and I survived. A two hill walk, yay for me, oh as well as the afternoon walk which I have to do as school requires me to collect my 5yo son at the end of the school day ... LOL
So the past week could have been better but I can say that I did lose 4.5kg in the month of January ... I am 4.5kg less than I was at the beginning of the year. What can I achieve in February?????
Then fast forward to this morning and the weekly official weigh-in and the poop hit the fan ... I had re-entered the 126ers and I have no one to blame but myself. Too little movement + too much wine = extra kilos. I didn't go near a takeaway joint or order home delivery, I just didn't move my backside. I did walk my son to school for 3 days, up that mongrel hill and back, but 5 hours later I was drinking wine. However, not all is bad as my tape measure never fails me. Despite the extra kilo and a bit, I have lost a centimetre from my hips and waist lines. So not all is terrible.
This morning after the weigh-in and measurements, I walked my son to school again at, lets nick name it "Mongrel Hill". Its not officially named but believe me, its a mongrel of a hill!!! I have decided to put my 3yo back in his pram too. He should be walking himself but last week, with THAT hill wearing him out, he demanded me to carry him home at times. So, he is back in the pram and I am walking at a decent speed and not slowly dawdling as I was with him. Today we extended the morning walk, to include another 'Mongrel Hill' and I survived. A two hill walk, yay for me, oh as well as the afternoon walk which I have to do as school requires me to collect my 5yo son at the end of the school day ... LOL
So the past week could have been better but I can say that I did lose 4.5kg in the month of January ... I am 4.5kg less than I was at the beginning of the year. What can I achieve in February?????
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
26012010 - I love thee sausage or four ....
Happy Australia Day ... gawd I really truly feel like a meat pie or snag on a roll. I really really want to fry up all the meats in the world today. (Apologises to any vegetarians who may be reading). Who the hell invented the sausage anyway??? Probably some skinny twirp who didn't have a weight problem!!! I looooooove sausages. Yes, I know I can 'just have one' but seriously ... WHO STOPS AT ONE SAUSAGE???? Its like portion serves on Weight Watchers. Yes, you can still eat steak, chicken etc but ... there's always a but ain't there .... you can only eat a portion thats the size of half your hand. Cruel, cruel world .... LOL
Today's bad news is .... I gained a kilo. I wouldn't mind so much if I binged out on a Seafood Buffet and Wine bar, but sadly I did not :0( Sunday I was 124.7, Tuesday I was 125.7. Go Figure. And yes the weigh in reading upsetted me. I hadn't touched a meat pie or dare I say it ... SAUSAGE ... I just had a 'sloppy' weekend. My breakfasts were the same but I spent Friday & Saturday catering for a party of 12, but I supplied food for a party of 120!!! Nibblies, cheerios, lollies ... I didn't even serve half the food because I over-catered. So from Saturday arvo onwards we had a fridge full of leftovers. So I admit I picked, didn't binge, but picked at the healthy mexican dip, at the lamb meatballs. So when lunch time comes around, I'm full from grazing.
The good news though ... the ends of my tape measure join happily together - yay to the tape measure!! Three weeks ago my hips measured in at 156cm, the tape measure couldn't even fit around me!!! This morning, I wrap the tape around my hips and the two ends meet and touch. Such a good feeling ....
So from this Aussie to you, have a lovely Australia Day. We could at least throw a shrimp/prawn on the BBQ ... prawns are very WW friendly :0) Still feel like a sausage though .... LOL
Today's bad news is .... I gained a kilo. I wouldn't mind so much if I binged out on a Seafood Buffet and Wine bar, but sadly I did not :0( Sunday I was 124.7, Tuesday I was 125.7. Go Figure. And yes the weigh in reading upsetted me. I hadn't touched a meat pie or dare I say it ... SAUSAGE ... I just had a 'sloppy' weekend. My breakfasts were the same but I spent Friday & Saturday catering for a party of 12, but I supplied food for a party of 120!!! Nibblies, cheerios, lollies ... I didn't even serve half the food because I over-catered. So from Saturday arvo onwards we had a fridge full of leftovers. So I admit I picked, didn't binge, but picked at the healthy mexican dip, at the lamb meatballs. So when lunch time comes around, I'm full from grazing.
The good news though ... the ends of my tape measure join happily together - yay to the tape measure!! Three weeks ago my hips measured in at 156cm, the tape measure couldn't even fit around me!!! This morning, I wrap the tape around my hips and the two ends meet and touch. Such a good feeling ....
So from this Aussie to you, have a lovely Australia Day. We could at least throw a shrimp/prawn on the BBQ ... prawns are very WW friendly :0) Still feel like a sausage though .... LOL
Friday, January 22, 2010
22012010 - The Life of a Robot
I tried so hard to write up an entry here every day, but it just didn't happen yesterday. For the past couple of days my aggro levels have been sky-high and I can't blame alcohol usage from the night before. Believe it or not, I've had 4 dry nights!! I am just sick to death of doing the same thing every ruddy day with no adult conversation at all. These two are mentally wearing me out and how I'm staying on the WW track, I do not know!!!
The good news though, my weight has FINALLY budged from the 125kgs!!!! This morning I weighed in at 124.7kg and boy, it was a relief. I know I tell people 'don't sweat on what the scales tell you'. But when you stick by the WW rules and exercise your bum off and them scales don't move at all in 5 days ... you forget what you preach to others - LOL!!! So, since the night of 3.01.2010, I have lost a total six kilos .... high five everyone!!!
Tomorrow I have yet another challenge ... my son's birthday party. If I can ignore alcohol like I have the past couple of nights when i feel like a volcano ready to explode .... I can ignore a sugary sweet birthday cake too. :0)
The good news though, my weight has FINALLY budged from the 125kgs!!!! This morning I weighed in at 124.7kg and boy, it was a relief. I know I tell people 'don't sweat on what the scales tell you'. But when you stick by the WW rules and exercise your bum off and them scales don't move at all in 5 days ... you forget what you preach to others - LOL!!! So, since the night of 3.01.2010, I have lost a total six kilos .... high five everyone!!!
Tomorrow I have yet another challenge ... my son's birthday party. If I can ignore alcohol like I have the past couple of nights when i feel like a volcano ready to explode .... I can ignore a sugary sweet birthday cake too. :0)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
20012010 - Flat as a Tack
No, I haven't got a flat tyre and no, my breasts haven't disappeared. I simply feel flat today. I feel horrible, teary, so tired of the same ol' routine. It's 'Groundhog Day' here almost, without the groundhog!
I'm sick of the whining, whinging and wrestling rugrats that are my children. Maybe its because we are on the final stretch of the school holidays, I don't know. Its just I have two shadows every where I go. I sit at computer, they are here, inches away from me ... wanting to check "Farm-ruddy-ville" on Facebook every two seconds!!!! I want to go for a good hard walk, but can't with these two here making my hard walk into a senior citizen's waddle stroll with an occasional temper tantrum thrown in for the blood pressure levels!
I'm supposed to go and order a birthday cake today, I don't want to. I just want something different, something new to do. I need a break really, my doctor told me that last April, but we all know that ain't going to happen.
So I go now and hang out the washing ... joy! Oh and the weight hasn't changed, I seemed to be stuck on 125.5kg at the moment. I suppose it could have gone up .....
I'm sick of the whining, whinging and wrestling rugrats that are my children. Maybe its because we are on the final stretch of the school holidays, I don't know. Its just I have two shadows every where I go. I sit at computer, they are here, inches away from me ... wanting to check "Farm-ruddy-ville" on Facebook every two seconds!!!! I want to go for a good hard walk, but can't with these two here making my hard walk into a senior citizen's waddle stroll with an occasional temper tantrum thrown in for the blood pressure levels!
I'm supposed to go and order a birthday cake today, I don't want to. I just want something different, something new to do. I need a break really, my doctor told me that last April, but we all know that ain't going to happen.
So I go now and hang out the washing ... joy! Oh and the weight hasn't changed, I seemed to be stuck on 125.5kg at the moment. I suppose it could have gone up .....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
19012010 - Here's another first!
Another 100grams gone, yes small I know but I'm claiming it, another tiny bit of energy discovered!!! On the side of our house are five hedges. Until 7am this morning they were five very feral overgrown hedges. The best trimming they get these days is a quick whipper-snip by my hubby ... "If it green, it goes!!". If I don't tend to them before 10am, they don't get seen too at all as the sun blares down on that side of the house and I don't feel like being fried right now.
So at 7am I drop hubby at train station and return home to see very feral hedges growing another inch or three!!! I have no idea where my hedge clippers are, nor where the hubby stores the electic clippers, so I clip the entire overgrown bushes with a tiny pair of garden scissors. Yes, it took a while, LOL, but not only did the feral bushes finally get trimmed back, I also found three toys and two baby dragon lizards!!! Alas ... no money though ;0)
This was all achieved because I have this new level of energy, all because I lost 5kilos! What will it be like when I lose 10kg, 20kg and heavens forbid 65kg!!! I also noticed my clothes a little baggier on me this morning too :0)
Another goal I should set is for my birthday, that is in 13wks time at the end of April. I'd love to be under 120kg and I can do this if I lose half a kilo per week. At the most I could get down to 112kg maybe if I'm ultra good in WW. I hope to go and see 80s pop group "Spandau Ballet" play in that last week of April in my home town. Did you know its only 48wks until Christmas time??? Bwaa ha ha ha!!! I heard you all groan very loudly!!! So, if I stay on track and lose half a kilo a week I will be 101kg ... tee hee, if I lose a kilo each week ... and I tell you that won't happen every week boys and girls ... I'll be 77kg!!!!! LOL. Ahhh, one can dream can't one :0)
So at 7am I drop hubby at train station and return home to see very feral hedges growing another inch or three!!! I have no idea where my hedge clippers are, nor where the hubby stores the electic clippers, so I clip the entire overgrown bushes with a tiny pair of garden scissors. Yes, it took a while, LOL, but not only did the feral bushes finally get trimmed back, I also found three toys and two baby dragon lizards!!! Alas ... no money though ;0)
This was all achieved because I have this new level of energy, all because I lost 5kilos! What will it be like when I lose 10kg, 20kg and heavens forbid 65kg!!! I also noticed my clothes a little baggier on me this morning too :0)
Another goal I should set is for my birthday, that is in 13wks time at the end of April. I'd love to be under 120kg and I can do this if I lose half a kilo per week. At the most I could get down to 112kg maybe if I'm ultra good in WW. I hope to go and see 80s pop group "Spandau Ballet" play in that last week of April in my home town. Did you know its only 48wks until Christmas time??? Bwaa ha ha ha!!! I heard you all groan very loudly!!! So, if I stay on track and lose half a kilo a week I will be 101kg ... tee hee, if I lose a kilo each week ... and I tell you that won't happen every week boys and girls ... I'll be 77kg!!!!! LOL. Ahhh, one can dream can't one :0)
Monday, January 18, 2010
18012010 - Is it Winter Time yet???
I really shouldn't whinge, but is it hot or is it hot??? The home town here is set to hit 35c, I think we are almost there!! Really shouldn't complain when the likes of other Aussie cities have had 40+ temps of late. But I'm normally a 'winter dieter', love exercising in the chill! Ahhh, another five months to go LOL.
Drum roll time .... two weeks down, 5.1kg gaaaaawnski!! And it's a great feeling and would you believe I feel I 'under achieved' this morning. On the weekend I purchased the exercise DVD from the Oz version of "The Biggest Loser". With my P!nk DVDs, I'm always moving with marching, jogging or moving fast. This "T.B.L." DVD had about 5mins of really fast exercises and the rest slowed down with push ups, stretches etc. I am so used to moving fast to the constant rapid pace of the music DVDs, I was a little disappointed with the new DVD this morn!! I have such high expectations now I'm losing weight!!! LOL.
As well as weight loss, I have also been achieving centimetre loss around my body bits. Waist = minus 4cms. Hips = minus 3cms, Bust = minus 4cms, Arms = minus 1cm and Thighs = minus 3cm. I'M SHRRRRRINKKKING ....
Motherhood calls .....
Drum roll time .... two weeks down, 5.1kg gaaaaawnski!! And it's a great feeling and would you believe I feel I 'under achieved' this morning. On the weekend I purchased the exercise DVD from the Oz version of "The Biggest Loser". With my P!nk DVDs, I'm always moving with marching, jogging or moving fast. This "T.B.L." DVD had about 5mins of really fast exercises and the rest slowed down with push ups, stretches etc. I am so used to moving fast to the constant rapid pace of the music DVDs, I was a little disappointed with the new DVD this morn!! I have such high expectations now I'm losing weight!!! LOL.
As well as weight loss, I have also been achieving centimetre loss around my body bits. Waist = minus 4cms. Hips = minus 3cms, Bust = minus 4cms, Arms = minus 1cm and Thighs = minus 3cm. I'M SHRRRRRINKKKING ....
Motherhood calls .....
Sunday, January 17, 2010
17012010 - 5 down ... 65 to go - LOL
Sorry, that's the best heading I can think of this morning! Forgive me, its Sunday, 5yr son woke me up at 5.20am to tell me the time. Ahhh children.
As per usual I start the day with a weigh-in. And I am the same as yesterday at 125.6kg. So this means ... drum roll please Mr Somers ... I have lost 5.1kg in two weeks. YOU LITTLE BEAUUUUUDY. I have such a very long way to go but I feel good. I have a new level of energy. Its all good :0) I achieved another 'P!nk workout' yesterday arvo, sweat poured off me and I jogged a little more within that 45minute stomp-a-thon too.
Time to go and achieve another workout of some sorts.
As per usual I start the day with a weigh-in. And I am the same as yesterday at 125.6kg. So this means ... drum roll please Mr Somers ... I have lost 5.1kg in two weeks. YOU LITTLE BEAUUUUUDY. I have such a very long way to go but I feel good. I have a new level of energy. Its all good :0) I achieved another 'P!nk workout' yesterday arvo, sweat poured off me and I jogged a little more within that 45minute stomp-a-thon too.
Time to go and achieve another workout of some sorts.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
16012010 - Don't be afraid to say well done :0)
I have a hell of a job in front of me. I have roughly 60-70kgs to lose off me. Huuuuge job but we take little steps and one day at a time. We don't look at the monsterous mountain of weight loss that we 'have to climb'. We look at the tiny hills that we can achieve. Sooooo, when you see someone shrinking before your eyes, that same someone who resembled Stars Wars own 'Jabba the Hut' on Christmas Day, SAY SOMETHING. Say "hey, you're losing weight aren't you??" Not the most hardest thing to say in the scheme of things.
What I am trying to say is ... I received my very first compliment this morning, in a roundabout sort of way. Very close relative says "Hey, are you losing weight, I only ask because 'such n such' noticed the other day and she reckons you lost weight..." Yay me!! My very first compliment for this round of 'weight war' however why didn't this person say something to me days ago when she noticed??? NO!! A compliment means EVERYTHING to a weight-watcher. That compliment makes us go faster, makes us ignore the chocolate longer and makes us smile!!! So when you see a person you know who looks a little smaller, a little lighter, don't bite your tongue. Oh and don't compliment someone if she is whinging away on her blog either - LOL!!!
I wasn't going to weigh-in this morning. I had a couple of wines last night and was scared that 'the damage' may show on the scales this morning. I was wrong. Today I am 125.6kg, a weekly lose of 1.5kg, a total loss of 5.1kg - very happy indeed. This time last year I was around 121kg.
Must go and clean up toys ... yet again LOL. I can't wait for the day "Weight Watchers" starts listing "Toy Picking Upping" on their Exercise Chart!!! LOL
What I am trying to say is ... I received my very first compliment this morning, in a roundabout sort of way. Very close relative says "Hey, are you losing weight, I only ask because 'such n such' noticed the other day and she reckons you lost weight..." Yay me!! My very first compliment for this round of 'weight war' however why didn't this person say something to me days ago when she noticed??? NO!! A compliment means EVERYTHING to a weight-watcher. That compliment makes us go faster, makes us ignore the chocolate longer and makes us smile!!! So when you see a person you know who looks a little smaller, a little lighter, don't bite your tongue. Oh and don't compliment someone if she is whinging away on her blog either - LOL!!!
I wasn't going to weigh-in this morning. I had a couple of wines last night and was scared that 'the damage' may show on the scales this morning. I was wrong. Today I am 125.6kg, a weekly lose of 1.5kg, a total loss of 5.1kg - very happy indeed. This time last year I was around 121kg.
Must go and clean up toys ... yet again LOL. I can't wait for the day "Weight Watchers" starts listing "Toy Picking Upping" on their Exercise Chart!!! LOL
Friday, January 15, 2010
15012010 - Where's the Fat Girls exercise designer wear, huh?
One of my pet hates is finding clothes to exercise in. Everything is fine if you have a waist line of a Barbie Doll. Barbie can go to the likes of "Lorna Jane" or "Rebel Sport" to purchase her groovy sports bras and teeny weeny running shorts. HOWEVER, what exactly is out there to where if you are over Size 18???
Every day I hear how obesity is bad, and obese people should get off the big bums and exercise. Good, great, yep we hear what you are saying but what the hell would you like us to wear whilst we exercise??? Au Natural and go nude???? I can't even purchase a decent sports bra in my size, yet I'm suppose to try jogging with 'my gals' bouncing up, down and here and there! I have noticed the likes of BigW sell an exercise brand, but long tracksuit pants in this hot and humid Queensland tropical weather??? Go Figure I guess!!
So due to lack of gym wearing gear, I exercise at home ... in my teeny weeny size 26 shorts and normal wire bra. {I'm dreadfully sorry for putting that vision into your brain on this Friday. LOL.} Today I once again exercised in our eating area, facing the kitchen. I do this by listening to talkback radio and reading Michelle Bridge's book. She also says to her 'weight watchers' to purchase a good sports bra. I wish I could Michelle, I wish I could!!! I also jogged in the one spot for a longer period of time and I'm happy with that achievement :0)
Tonight I am thinking about having a wine or two as I watch the movie "Ghost". So love that movie and I am an emotional wreck at the end of it every time!!
Every day I hear how obesity is bad, and obese people should get off the big bums and exercise. Good, great, yep we hear what you are saying but what the hell would you like us to wear whilst we exercise??? Au Natural and go nude???? I can't even purchase a decent sports bra in my size, yet I'm suppose to try jogging with 'my gals' bouncing up, down and here and there! I have noticed the likes of BigW sell an exercise brand, but long tracksuit pants in this hot and humid Queensland tropical weather??? Go Figure I guess!!
So due to lack of gym wearing gear, I exercise at home ... in my teeny weeny size 26 shorts and normal wire bra. {I'm dreadfully sorry for putting that vision into your brain on this Friday. LOL.} Today I once again exercised in our eating area, facing the kitchen. I do this by listening to talkback radio and reading Michelle Bridge's book. She also says to her 'weight watchers' to purchase a good sports bra. I wish I could Michelle, I wish I could!!! I also jogged in the one spot for a longer period of time and I'm happy with that achievement :0)
Tonight I am thinking about having a wine or two as I watch the movie "Ghost". So love that movie and I am an emotional wreck at the end of it every time!!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
14Jan2010 - Am I still alive??? I just jogged ...
Yep, I jogged for more than 10 seconds!!! YAY ME - lol! I was coming up to the end of my exercise session with P!nk yet again (she's such a hard task master!) and there's one song that gets my legs going faster, "Leave me alone, I'm lonely". Every time that song comes on, I go into some sort of higher gear. I go faster and suddenly I'm jogging in one spot ... PRAISE THE LORD WE HAVE A MIRACLE!!! Off I go, jog jog jog and off my 'girls' go, bounce bounce bounce. Bwaaaa ha ha ha. Cathy Freeman has absolutely nothing to worry about!! LOL.
Somehow I got an exercise session in today. However I had to compete with two Mac Trucks. My almost 3yo decided that Mummy needed obstacles whilst she marches, moves and jogs. There he sat, with two toy Mac trucks, just a metre or so away from my stomping feet. Its all a challenge, isn't it?? LOL. Yesterday I couldn't be bothered in kicking the boys off the big tele, so I went to the next room to the kitchen/eating area and marched and moved in one spot for 40mins. I also started to read Michelle Bridge's book "Crunch Time". Only took me 11 months! Last February I went to a book signing of one of the trainers off "The Biggest Loser". That book has been sitting untouched in my book shelf for almost a year! Yesterday I pulled it out and started reading. Another tool to help me along with this 'journey'.
Today's weigh-in came in at 126.6 - a gain of 500grams in 24hrs. I'm not 'upset' or kicking myself. I'm actually enjoying watching my weight go up and down, I find it a little fascinating. However, I may not find it so enjoying if I keep going up and down in the 126ers in a couple of weeks time LOL. The good news is I can hold my head up high and say "I've lost 4kgs in 10days". NO MORE 130kgs!!!!!!!! I am now at the same weight I was this time three years ago. I was weighed just days before my son's birth in 2007 and I was 126kg. A month after that birth I was 112kg as I suffered a serious post-birth infection. I was seriously ill, I didn't eat for days, breast feeding stopped and suddenly I was 112kg. That whole infection 'chapter' in my life is one of many reasons why I turned to emotional eating/drinking. Every time I heard the 'breastfeeders' tell us all that bottle feeding is evil, I'd turn to the wine cask. Every time I shower and clean the huge pothole that is above my pubic line, I beat myself up internally. I've wasted three years of my life 'hurting' over that chapter in my life ... time to 'move on' I think.
Wow, I went 'deep' then didn't I???? Its like Michelle says in her book, if you don't tackle the emotional side that's made you fat, you won't succeed long term. As P!nk says "SHAKE IT AWAY ........" Believe me P!nk, I shook it away, here, there, every ruddy where ...... LOL
Somehow I got an exercise session in today. However I had to compete with two Mac Trucks. My almost 3yo decided that Mummy needed obstacles whilst she marches, moves and jogs. There he sat, with two toy Mac trucks, just a metre or so away from my stomping feet. Its all a challenge, isn't it?? LOL. Yesterday I couldn't be bothered in kicking the boys off the big tele, so I went to the next room to the kitchen/eating area and marched and moved in one spot for 40mins. I also started to read Michelle Bridge's book "Crunch Time". Only took me 11 months! Last February I went to a book signing of one of the trainers off "The Biggest Loser". That book has been sitting untouched in my book shelf for almost a year! Yesterday I pulled it out and started reading. Another tool to help me along with this 'journey'.
Today's weigh-in came in at 126.6 - a gain of 500grams in 24hrs. I'm not 'upset' or kicking myself. I'm actually enjoying watching my weight go up and down, I find it a little fascinating. However, I may not find it so enjoying if I keep going up and down in the 126ers in a couple of weeks time LOL. The good news is I can hold my head up high and say "I've lost 4kgs in 10days". NO MORE 130kgs!!!!!!!! I am now at the same weight I was this time three years ago. I was weighed just days before my son's birth in 2007 and I was 126kg. A month after that birth I was 112kg as I suffered a serious post-birth infection. I was seriously ill, I didn't eat for days, breast feeding stopped and suddenly I was 112kg. That whole infection 'chapter' in my life is one of many reasons why I turned to emotional eating/drinking. Every time I heard the 'breastfeeders' tell us all that bottle feeding is evil, I'd turn to the wine cask. Every time I shower and clean the huge pothole that is above my pubic line, I beat myself up internally. I've wasted three years of my life 'hurting' over that chapter in my life ... time to 'move on' I think.
Wow, I went 'deep' then didn't I???? Its like Michelle says in her book, if you don't tackle the emotional side that's made you fat, you won't succeed long term. As P!nk says "SHAKE IT AWAY ........" Believe me P!nk, I shook it away, here, there, every ruddy where ...... LOL
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
13012010 - Wanted: A sleep-in!
So very tired today. I WANT TO GO BACK TO BED! Yesterday I ran around like the silly ol' chook with its head cut off, and how many exercise WW points did I gather ... zilch! I can achieve exercise points for cycling, walking, gardening, but not rushing about here there and everywhere inbetween caring for children and mothers!!! I was exhausted last night and I didn't even fit in a workout yesterday!
My mother is doing okay, unfortunately they didn't take out her 'whinge button'. LOL. If she says one more time that "I'm not going to be their guinea pig one more time...." I'll scream very very annoyingly loudly. Fingers crossed her kidneys are back to normal and we can stay away from over crowded hospitals and rip-off carparks!!!
Back to my weight wars .... according to my wonderful scales, I am another kilo lesser today. I weighed in this morning at 126.1kg after two days of 127.1kg. Yay me again. I still have to find a successful way to exercise to my concert DVDs. My 5yo is easily amused, he is addicted to playing Soliatre on my computer. Its my almost 3yo who doesn't understand that Mummy is occupied for 45mins with something other than him!!! He does tantrums very well at my feet whilst I march in one spot.
Today we are off to a park for a picnic with some of my friends although I won't be picnicing much. It will be the usual chasing the boys and making sure they aren't getting up to mischief. I wonder how many Exercise points are in that?? LOL
As my adorable mother would say "Better days ahead ....."
My mother is doing okay, unfortunately they didn't take out her 'whinge button'. LOL. If she says one more time that "I'm not going to be their guinea pig one more time...." I'll scream very very annoyingly loudly. Fingers crossed her kidneys are back to normal and we can stay away from over crowded hospitals and rip-off carparks!!!
Back to my weight wars .... according to my wonderful scales, I am another kilo lesser today. I weighed in this morning at 126.1kg after two days of 127.1kg. Yay me again. I still have to find a successful way to exercise to my concert DVDs. My 5yo is easily amused, he is addicted to playing Soliatre on my computer. Its my almost 3yo who doesn't understand that Mummy is occupied for 45mins with something other than him!!! He does tantrums very well at my feet whilst I march in one spot.
Today we are off to a park for a picnic with some of my friends although I won't be picnicing much. It will be the usual chasing the boys and making sure they aren't getting up to mischief. I wonder how many Exercise points are in that?? LOL
As my adorable mother would say "Better days ahead ....."
Monday, January 11, 2010
11Jan2010 - I had victory, against wine ;0)
Well, this volcano exploded, many many times today. It has just been 'one of them days' when my two little boys decided together they would destroy the world. Ok, a bedroom, but it felt like the world to me. It was a day full of them misbehaving and me yelling and exploding and I shed tears ... and eagerly awaited 7.30pm, their bed time, for me to break open a wine and drink away my stress.
It is almost 10pm, and the wine remains untouched. The best I could do was a "Diet Choc Mousse" ... all 2pts of it LOL. Oh I wanted a drink, I really wanted a drink .... but I really want to get rid of this tummy overhang and everything to do with obesity as well. For once I ignored my cravings for wine and I feel a tad proud of myself.
As my Mom would say "tomorrow is another day" and tomorrow I have to spend the day with her at a hospital. Back in October we almost lost her, but she sprung back and now has to have certain things taken out of her ... so I'm being chauffeur and interepter. Yes, she is english speaking but really has troubles understanding medical 'talk' and she turns off, so I'm there to be her ears.
I forecast a huuuuuuuuuuuuge wine craving 7.30pm Tuesday night ....
It is almost 10pm, and the wine remains untouched. The best I could do was a "Diet Choc Mousse" ... all 2pts of it LOL. Oh I wanted a drink, I really wanted a drink .... but I really want to get rid of this tummy overhang and everything to do with obesity as well. For once I ignored my cravings for wine and I feel a tad proud of myself.
As my Mom would say "tomorrow is another day" and tomorrow I have to spend the day with her at a hospital. Back in October we almost lost her, but she sprung back and now has to have certain things taken out of her ... so I'm being chauffeur and interepter. Yes, she is english speaking but really has troubles understanding medical 'talk' and she turns off, so I'm there to be her ears.
I forecast a huuuuuuuuuuuuge wine craving 7.30pm Tuesday night ....
11Jan2010 - Feeling very blaaaaaaa
Okay, let's not make this a fully negative blog post but truly, I feel like a volcano ready to erupt. The hubby has returned to work after a 3+wk break and I'm home alone with my two boys ... who are driving me INSANNNNNE! They have decided today is the day to fight over everything. My 5yo is stalking me, he wants my computer to play card games ... never ends. And me? This week is 'that week of the month' and emotionally ... well I'm a volcano ready to go boooom.
Well the good news??? I had my official weekly weigh-in this morning = 127.1kg. A first week total loss of 3.6kg. Big round of applause for me LOL. However the bad news is I gained 600grms from yesterday morning. The gain could be one of many things eg. 'that time of the month' or the couple of glasses of wine I had Friday & Saturday nights. Don't worry, I kept within my WW Points range and by last night I had 40 spare points 'banked'. But I must keep thinking positive, think of that 3.6kg, the weight of a newborn baby, evaporated ... (or evilly express posted to Jennifer Hawkins LOL).
Yesterday I listened to a personal fitness trainer on Talkback Radio. He made many great points about 'weigh-ins' & myths of weight loss. One of those points was 'never sweat on what the scales tell you, go on what your energy levels tell you'. He rubbished "W.W." a little because they rely on one weigh-in per week and when that one weigh-in a week doesn't go to the WeightWatcher's plan, they quickly retreat to emotional eating, making them gain more weight. And he is right, and thats why I personally weigh myself almost daily to see how my weight is going. He also rubbished 'shake diets' and so-called 'low fat' branded foods and made alot of sense too. Here's his link if anyone is interested in what he has to say: www.lookgoodfitness.com.au
Have I chatted enough so I don't see 'those' photos everytime I log on here?!?! LOL. Thanks for listening, this 'volcano' has calmed down now ;0)
Well the good news??? I had my official weekly weigh-in this morning = 127.1kg. A first week total loss of 3.6kg. Big round of applause for me LOL. However the bad news is I gained 600grms from yesterday morning. The gain could be one of many things eg. 'that time of the month' or the couple of glasses of wine I had Friday & Saturday nights. Don't worry, I kept within my WW Points range and by last night I had 40 spare points 'banked'. But I must keep thinking positive, think of that 3.6kg, the weight of a newborn baby, evaporated ... (or evilly express posted to Jennifer Hawkins LOL).
Yesterday I listened to a personal fitness trainer on Talkback Radio. He made many great points about 'weigh-ins' & myths of weight loss. One of those points was 'never sweat on what the scales tell you, go on what your energy levels tell you'. He rubbished "W.W." a little because they rely on one weigh-in per week and when that one weigh-in a week doesn't go to the WeightWatcher's plan, they quickly retreat to emotional eating, making them gain more weight. And he is right, and thats why I personally weigh myself almost daily to see how my weight is going. He also rubbished 'shake diets' and so-called 'low fat' branded foods and made alot of sense too. Here's his link if anyone is interested in what he has to say: www.lookgoodfitness.com.au
Have I chatted enough so I don't see 'those' photos everytime I log on here?!?! LOL. Thanks for listening, this 'volcano' has calmed down now ;0)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
10Jan2010 - Part Two - Warning, Another scary image
And here I am the next day on Boxing Day at my Mother's house. As per usual, I am standing because if I sit in her sunken lounge chairs, it takes me five hours to get out of them!!!
Yes, look at my hidious belly, fat stumpy legs ... ewwww.
And that's all the pictures you are going to see me at 130.7kg. ;0)
10Jan2010 WARNING: Posting has scary images that may frighten you and the littlies
Okay, I have my 'Learners' plates on, so forgive me. I am about to attempt to post photos of myself from Christmas Time 2009 ... hang in there people ...
Well, there I am, to the left, in the purple tent! Thats me, and no thats not my walker, I can still walk thank you very much LOL. Here I am on Christmas Day at my hubby's family's house and don't I look simply hidious. I bought that dress from BigW and looked great at the time in the dressing room!!! Come Xmas Day, I loathed it. I looked 100 times my size, more like a big fat Fijian Mumma cooking a feast for her hoards!!! Seemed such a good idea at the time to buy that tent ... dress.
10Jan2010 Which way to the Pool Bar???
Happy Sunday everyone. I am feeling a tad weary today. After an exhausting week I would love to venture down to the pool, slide into the pool, glide under the cool waters and pop my head up at the pool bar for a freshly squeezed orange juice ... but I suddenly remember that I am at home, I have no pool, or pool bar and I am nowhere near a hotel or an Island resort. Ahhh, one can dream can we? LOL!
Well shoe shopping was a success, an expensive success, but the 'emperor' has new shoes ... mens shoes would you believe. I went to "Athletes Foot", found a wonderful assistant, she tested my feet. Apparently I have a size 10 foot and a size 9&half other foot and they are both flat. Once upon a time I would wear size8 court shoes to the discos (what a look that was!) but after motherhood I now have oddly sized feet and they are flat as a tack LOL. And yes, my new shoes are mens runners which is apparently okay according to sales girl. As long as my fat, flat, oddly sized hoofers don't complain ... I'm fine by that!
Well the 'official' weigh-in is just 24hrs away, turn up dramatic music as I prep myself for the big moment. This morning I weighed in at 126.5kg, another 400grms gone, a total of 4.2kg for the week. Personally I believe my increased level in exercise has assisted me in losing this 4kg. I mean, HELLO, before last Monday I was a gianormous sack of lard barely moving. A week later I have achieved daily aerobic sessions with my good friend P!nk - LOL - and the occasional walks around my streets here. This coming week is a new challenge though as the hubby returns to work, I have kids full time and I have a mother to present to hospital on Tuesday ... and that last point alone will be interesting. I love my mother but after a day with her at a hospital, I wish to present myself to the nearest all-you-can-eat-and-drink buffet bar which I hoped would be chockers with chocolates and wine. Draining is a good word to describe my day with Mum, but like I say .... its just another challenge in my 'weight wars' that I must conquer ... LOL
Well, I have another hot dancing date with P!nk, must go ... before the terror tots 'invade my space' yet again ;0)
Well shoe shopping was a success, an expensive success, but the 'emperor' has new shoes ... mens shoes would you believe. I went to "Athletes Foot", found a wonderful assistant, she tested my feet. Apparently I have a size 10 foot and a size 9&half other foot and they are both flat. Once upon a time I would wear size8 court shoes to the discos (what a look that was!) but after motherhood I now have oddly sized feet and they are flat as a tack LOL. And yes, my new shoes are mens runners which is apparently okay according to sales girl. As long as my fat, flat, oddly sized hoofers don't complain ... I'm fine by that!
Well the 'official' weigh-in is just 24hrs away, turn up dramatic music as I prep myself for the big moment. This morning I weighed in at 126.5kg, another 400grms gone, a total of 4.2kg for the week. Personally I believe my increased level in exercise has assisted me in losing this 4kg. I mean, HELLO, before last Monday I was a gianormous sack of lard barely moving. A week later I have achieved daily aerobic sessions with my good friend P!nk - LOL - and the occasional walks around my streets here. This coming week is a new challenge though as the hubby returns to work, I have kids full time and I have a mother to present to hospital on Tuesday ... and that last point alone will be interesting. I love my mother but after a day with her at a hospital, I wish to present myself to the nearest all-you-can-eat-and-drink buffet bar which I hoped would be chockers with chocolates and wine. Draining is a good word to describe my day with Mum, but like I say .... its just another challenge in my 'weight wars' that I must conquer ... LOL
Well, I have another hot dancing date with P!nk, must go ... before the terror tots 'invade my space' yet again ;0)
Saturday, January 9, 2010
09Jan2010 Shoe Shopping is like pulling out teeth ...
Yep, my plan this morn is to go walking shoe shopping. Ewwwww. See when I was born, someone forgot to insert the 'shopping gene' into me. This means I am not one of these persons who practically live at the likes of Westfield. I go Woolies, Dan Murphys (miss you Dan - LOL) and Big W. Thats it. End of story. But for me to keep my feet happy, one must enter ... wait for it ... a specialized shoe shop. My last shoe purchase was a "A-Mart All Sports" and my feet have hated me since. So I shall see what the "Athletics Foot" has for my fat feet. I have never ever stepped foot into this shop as my wallet steers me away from their door for some reason. LOL. But the After Xmas Sales are coming to an end, and other WeightWatchers highly recommend their expertise, so let's go and have a looksie anyway.
Last night I 'relaxed' my strict WW ways. I had two glasses of wine and truly, they weren't that special. I wanted more but realised after just two glasses and a freddo frog (how did he sneak in my mouth?!?) I had reached my daily limit. And yes I braved the scales yet again this morning. I didn't expect a fall after my drinkees but I am now ... wait for it ... 126.9kg, a loss of 500grms from yesterday and a total loss from 6days = 3.8kg!! YAY ME!
Is this where I do the "Biggest Loser" thing and blubber like a baby on the scales and tell everyone my life story and go "I can't believe this..." a 1000 times??? Bwaaaa ha ha ha .... and yes I love that show yet take the mickey out of it. LOL
Last night I 'relaxed' my strict WW ways. I had two glasses of wine and truly, they weren't that special. I wanted more but realised after just two glasses and a freddo frog (how did he sneak in my mouth?!?) I had reached my daily limit. And yes I braved the scales yet again this morning. I didn't expect a fall after my drinkees but I am now ... wait for it ... 126.9kg, a loss of 500grms from yesterday and a total loss from 6days = 3.8kg!! YAY ME!
Is this where I do the "Biggest Loser" thing and blubber like a baby on the scales and tell everyone my life story and go "I can't believe this..." a 1000 times??? Bwaaaa ha ha ha .... and yes I love that show yet take the mickey out of it. LOL
Friday, January 8, 2010
08Jan2010 Craving KilKennys
I realllly truly wanted a drink last night. Not the usual wine fix, but a relaxing sip or three of the Irish Cream "Kilkenny". There's nothing more relaxing than sipping on some Irish Cream chilled on ice. Not a tiny weeny shot glass but a 200ml balloon. So thankfully I checked out 'the damage' I may do on WW if I consumed one brandy balloon ... and my heart shattered. TEN FRIGGIN' POINTS?????? What do you mean TEN POINTS???
Yep, according to the WW Points System 200ml of Kilkenny is 10pts, a teeny weeny shot glass is 2pts. For those not familiar with WW Points System, 10pts would normally give me 2 x Chicken & Salad Sandwiches or 5 x pieces of bread. A glass of wine is 2pts. And just to make it sound even more shocking, if I did consume a small brandy glass of Kilkenny that would be almost half my daily allowance gaaaawnski! Farewell Kilkenny ... you've been a good friend :0)
But there is good news ... I jumped on the scales this morning, fully expecting a nothing result after a loss of 2.7kg ... but I got another sweet surprise, another loss of 600grms. The scales registered 127.4kg. Since Sunday night I have supposedly lost ... wait for it .... 3.3kg. Unbelievable! I'm starting to feel like one of them "Biggest Loser" guinea pigs with their massive losses each week (which we all know is a crop of crap and very good editing by CH10!).
As each gram evaporates from my barge bum, I get a little more optimistic and energetic however I know I am a day away from a 'let down'. I know that day is close where I will throw my scales again a solid brick wall but today we 'celebrate' my very small success.
I'm still craving a Kilkenny though .....
Yep, according to the WW Points System 200ml of Kilkenny is 10pts, a teeny weeny shot glass is 2pts. For those not familiar with WW Points System, 10pts would normally give me 2 x Chicken & Salad Sandwiches or 5 x pieces of bread. A glass of wine is 2pts. And just to make it sound even more shocking, if I did consume a small brandy glass of Kilkenny that would be almost half my daily allowance gaaaawnski! Farewell Kilkenny ... you've been a good friend :0)
But there is good news ... I jumped on the scales this morning, fully expecting a nothing result after a loss of 2.7kg ... but I got another sweet surprise, another loss of 600grms. The scales registered 127.4kg. Since Sunday night I have supposedly lost ... wait for it .... 3.3kg. Unbelievable! I'm starting to feel like one of them "Biggest Loser" guinea pigs with their massive losses each week (which we all know is a crop of crap and very good editing by CH10!).
As each gram evaporates from my barge bum, I get a little more optimistic and energetic however I know I am a day away from a 'let down'. I know that day is close where I will throw my scales again a solid brick wall but today we 'celebrate' my very small success.
I'm still craving a Kilkenny though .....
Thursday, January 7, 2010
07Jan2010 Tah tah to that kilo too!
8am - Have you seen where my 2.7kg have gone??? Don't want them back, just wondering how in just 3 days, 2.7kg has shifted from my bum & tum and evaporated into fat air. Yes, I snuck on them beautiful scales again (nb. they are evil when they tell me what I don't want to hear!), and this morning I am 128kg, one kilo less than what I was this time yesterday. Yay me! I know it won't be this fantastic every day but hey, celebrate small successes LOL. Oh by the way, my 5yo is 21.5kg. He caught me out this morning at 'weigh-in'. And just thinking, I am carrying around almost three times his weight. My ultimate goal is to lose three times his weight. Have you picked up a 21kg 5yr old of late??? My 14kg 2yo is bad enough (weight and attitude wise!). Unbelievable ... shaking my head on the fact I am double the weight I really should be ... 'upper cut' time to me!!!
Today will probably be the same as yesterday. In the morning I've been whacking on a P!nk concert DVD, grabbing the hand weights and just marching and moving to her intense yet wonderful music. There's nothing like someone taking the piss out of Britney Spears when you are sweating your butt off. Then this arvo I may go for a walk around the block with my 5yo. Of course this exercise plan will end on Monday as my hubby returns to work and its just me and the little lads. Have you ever tried power waddling with a 2yr old tagging along, its no walk, its a shuffle.
I shall come to that bridge on Monday until then, I'll keep annoying my neighbours with my taste in music and P!nk's colourful language. Bwaaaa ha ha ha ....
Today will probably be the same as yesterday. In the morning I've been whacking on a P!nk concert DVD, grabbing the hand weights and just marching and moving to her intense yet wonderful music. There's nothing like someone taking the piss out of Britney Spears when you are sweating your butt off. Then this arvo I may go for a walk around the block with my 5yo. Of course this exercise plan will end on Monday as my hubby returns to work and its just me and the little lads. Have you ever tried power waddling with a 2yr old tagging along, its no walk, its a shuffle.
I shall come to that bridge on Monday until then, I'll keep annoying my neighbours with my taste in music and P!nk's colourful language. Bwaaaa ha ha ha ....
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
06Jan2010 - Those Scales called me over!
I did a sneaky this morn ... I got on the scales, 5 days early.
And I'm 1.7kg lighter ... :0)
Hello 120's!!!!!!! Goodbye 130s!!!!!
And I'm 1.7kg lighter ... :0)
Hello 120's!!!!!!! Goodbye 130s!!!!!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Truly, what would a Professor know???
Here I am Day.2. of 'my comeback' ....bwaaa ha ha ha, eat ya heart out Tiger Woods, I'm going to have the biggest comeback of 2010 not you sonny jim!!! LOL ...
Sorry, where was I? Yes, anyways I'm listening to talkback radio and the host is interviewing a 'well respected' Professor of exercise, dietary of the University of Blaa Blaa in QLD. She states that "if you are already overweight, half an hour of walking really does not do a thing for weight loss at all..."
A big round of applause to the Professor, huh??? So, me walking for 30minutes does as much as me sitting here at a computer for 30minutes. Trust me Professor ... YOU ARE WRONG WRONG WRONG! I've been sitting on my date for a wee while now = no weight loss, just a bigger bum and tum! I've been exercising for, wait for it, two days and already feel a difference. So give up on your snide giggles and pathetic words of wisdom and go and interview some 'weight watchers' who will tell you that any form of exercise does work. Now, where can I shove your diploma huh??
Sorry, where was I? Yes, anyways I'm listening to talkback radio and the host is interviewing a 'well respected' Professor of exercise, dietary of the University of Blaa Blaa in QLD. She states that "if you are already overweight, half an hour of walking really does not do a thing for weight loss at all..."
W H A T H E ?????
A big round of applause to the Professor, huh??? So, me walking for 30minutes does as much as me sitting here at a computer for 30minutes. Trust me Professor ... YOU ARE WRONG WRONG WRONG! I've been sitting on my date for a wee while now = no weight loss, just a bigger bum and tum! I've been exercising for, wait for it, two days and already feel a difference. So give up on your snide giggles and pathetic words of wisdom and go and interview some 'weight watchers' who will tell you that any form of exercise does work. Now, where can I shove your diploma huh??
All aboard ... it's time to go Barge-Bum!!
Wow, this is a tad scary. My very first blog. Here I am tipping my toes into the cold waters of "Blog-World" - LOL! Be scared ... be very scared :0)
Okay ... back to business, I'm here to share my thoughts and feelings about what is about to happen to me. No, I won't be 'self-destructing in 5 seconds' ... I have already achieved that! Yep, I 'self-destructed' and ended up at a whooping 131kg. Seriously 131kg! This is where I am supposed to irresponsibly say "How the hell did I get to 131kg??" or "Damn you McDonalds!!"
Wrong, I know how I got to 131kg. I've been stupid, lazy, irresponsible, jealous, angry ... I'm sure I can find more adjectives under my expanding 'overhang' if I bothered to look ;0) After too many 'signs' knocking me on the head to tell me that I was a tad overweight, I let my fingers do the walking on the keyboard (at least they are getting a good workout of late!) and I have enrolled with "Weight Watchers On-Line" for at least three months. Cost me $75, then $24 per month after that, but at least I made that first step ... FINALLY.
I had many 'diet' options to take up on. There's the 'milk shake' diet companies where you spend $100s of dollars on powders and only eat one decent meal a day. I'm sorry, if I lived on powder shakes alone my hubby would rid of me with my escalating moods and it would send us to the nearest divorce courts. There's the ever so popular surgery of gastric banding where I would have to go under the knife and hope like hell I didn't contract an infection like I did with my last operation. (An infection that still emotionally affects me, one of many excuses how I got to 131kg). And I'm a little 'iffy' about eating mush for a couple of months after that operation. I'm going to see AC/DC in February, I can't visualize me eating mush that night with meat pies & hotdogs surrounding me, LOL. And finally there is also your "Jenny Craigs" in the world, goodbye $130 per week!!! Unfortunately I am not Magda Szubanski who got the 'golden deal' of a lifetime from Jenny Craig as well as assistance from super trainer Donna somethingorrater.
Anyways, here I go yet again. Been here, done that many many times. Honestly I don't think I have ever been in a 'healthy weight range', I've always been five or fifty or seventy kilos over that ;0) I've never clothes shopped in proper dress or jeans shops. Its always been BigW or Target for my fat clothes, oh, except for my wedding outfit ... department stores don't sell them ... yet ;0)
So, here I am, staring down a very long road ahead of me. It will be full of twists and bends and many many pot holes. Did I tell you that I'm very good at getting stuck in pot holes??? Fingers crossed I'll travel nicely down the 'healthy highway' with the support of my nearest and dearest here at home and inside the computer. I sure know by know there is no 'support' coming out of a tub of ice cream or wine cask flagon ... LOL
Okay ... back to business, I'm here to share my thoughts and feelings about what is about to happen to me. No, I won't be 'self-destructing in 5 seconds' ... I have already achieved that! Yep, I 'self-destructed' and ended up at a whooping 131kg. Seriously 131kg! This is where I am supposed to irresponsibly say "How the hell did I get to 131kg??" or "Damn you McDonalds!!"
Wrong, I know how I got to 131kg. I've been stupid, lazy, irresponsible, jealous, angry ... I'm sure I can find more adjectives under my expanding 'overhang' if I bothered to look ;0) After too many 'signs' knocking me on the head to tell me that I was a tad overweight, I let my fingers do the walking on the keyboard (at least they are getting a good workout of late!) and I have enrolled with "Weight Watchers On-Line" for at least three months. Cost me $75, then $24 per month after that, but at least I made that first step ... FINALLY.
I had many 'diet' options to take up on. There's the 'milk shake' diet companies where you spend $100s of dollars on powders and only eat one decent meal a day. I'm sorry, if I lived on powder shakes alone my hubby would rid of me with my escalating moods and it would send us to the nearest divorce courts. There's the ever so popular surgery of gastric banding where I would have to go under the knife and hope like hell I didn't contract an infection like I did with my last operation. (An infection that still emotionally affects me, one of many excuses how I got to 131kg). And I'm a little 'iffy' about eating mush for a couple of months after that operation. I'm going to see AC/DC in February, I can't visualize me eating mush that night with meat pies & hotdogs surrounding me, LOL. And finally there is also your "Jenny Craigs" in the world, goodbye $130 per week!!! Unfortunately I am not Magda Szubanski who got the 'golden deal' of a lifetime from Jenny Craig as well as assistance from super trainer Donna somethingorrater.
Anyways, here I go yet again. Been here, done that many many times. Honestly I don't think I have ever been in a 'healthy weight range', I've always been five or fifty or seventy kilos over that ;0) I've never clothes shopped in proper dress or jeans shops. Its always been BigW or Target for my fat clothes, oh, except for my wedding outfit ... department stores don't sell them ... yet ;0)
So, here I am, staring down a very long road ahead of me. It will be full of twists and bends and many many pot holes. Did I tell you that I'm very good at getting stuck in pot holes??? Fingers crossed I'll travel nicely down the 'healthy highway' with the support of my nearest and dearest here at home and inside the computer. I sure know by know there is no 'support' coming out of a tub of ice cream or wine cask flagon ... LOL
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