09102010 - 'I feel better now....'

My subject heading says it all ... I knicked "I feel better now..." off the Medibank Private TV ads ... hope they didn't mind ;0)

Well, I do, I do feel better now. All the anger, the confusion I have endured the past twenty years I wrapped up and threw it up on my blog late Thursday night and I put it out there for all to see. I don't know how many 'alls' actually read it. I do know two friends read it and thank you ladies for your comments, you are beautiful. I don't know if any of my family members bothered to read it, probably not, and well I don't care. I am sick of bottling up the grief, I am sick of biting my tongue. Yep, I simply had had enough and I told the world, well, okay, a few of you what has been going thru in my head for the past 20 years.

You don't become obese by being frequent visitors of McDonalds and drinking goonie juice all night long. There's a reason why you turn to fatty foods and alcohol and on Thursday night, after a bit of goonie juice LOL, I let it be known what has been rattling on in my head. Yes I am lucky, yes I could have more worse of problems than what has affected me, but I laid it out and fingers crossed I can kick down that emotional grief of a wall and get on losing this fat arse of mine!!!

And after 'expressing myself', I actually feel fantastic. Yesterday, on the actual anniversery of my father's death, I barely cried. I smiled, I remembered but I didn't cry. I felt like someone had lifted the burden off my shoulders and yep I do feel better now.

So onwards and upwards people .... time to live again I think :0)