Gee, it's mighty quiet here today. HELLO! Anyone here?! LOL. Yes, I'm baccccccccck. Yes, againnnnnnnn. New Year, new chapters, let's start again.
I didn't blog here at all in 2011. I was either too ashamed, too embarrassed or helping my mother or well maybe I was stuck in hospital. It was the worst year I have ever endured in my life and I've had shockers before but 2011 was horrible. My weight escaluated due to personal problems and just hating myself. In September my Mum was found in a dreadful state, almost died, had a stroke, spent 8weeks in hospital. She left hospital expecting everyone to be there for her despite how unhealthy one may be. I had to put my family aside to be there for her. Then there was family frictions and turmoils not worth talking about here. Then my youngest son's eye decided not to work, scared us to death. He now wears glasses. And then October 13 2011 happened. I had a meltdown, I couldn't cope anymore. For 4 weeks I had endured constant phone calls about my mother's 'behaviour' in hospital. I am one of five siblings and I was drowning under all the issues that stemmed from my hospitalized mother. No one wanted to give me a hand up, no one asked if I was all right. It was 4.40pm, I hung up from a social worker's phone call and I screamed abuse at the fridge, at the microwave, at the oven, at the cutlery. I couldn't cope any more. 24 hours later, my health deteriorated. I could barely breathe, I had a stabbing pain in my lung, I was in trouble. At 7am on a Saturday 15th October, I shuffled into an Emergency Dept and asked for help. I had severe pneumonia with a giant big fat abscess growing inside my right lung. I didn't leave that hospital for another 3.5weeks. I decided then and there something had to change. No more trying to please every Tom, Dick and Harriette. I was sick of being sick, sick of being taken advantage of. 2011 was a shit year and I didn't want history to repeat itself.
Fast forward to today. New start didn't start straight away, but we're all aboard and journey has commenced!! I have recommenced "Weight Watchers Online" and have also joined a 10week Weight Loss Challenge being promoted on a TV Network. I need all the help I can get!!! My weight after New Year was 134kg, last week 133, today 131.8 :0)
I don't want to be this big anymore. I am almost an invalid. I endured one of those most embarrassing moments in life where I couldn't get out of a pool. I was so ashamed. I'd start to get out of this certain pool and then I'd get leg cramps, ohhhhh it was so embarrassing. No one helped me, they just looked and whispered, so so horrible. I knew then this body had to shrink. Oh and then there was the holiday snaps. Eeeeeek, say no more!!!
Sooooo, I returned with tail between legs, with tears in my eyes, to Weight Watchers On line. $29 per month, I log everything I do, I eat, I drink. Started well despite barely any exercise due to torrential rain here, but by Thursday I started to slide downhill. Wasn't a big slide, but there was a party, with beer, with wonderful food! I have to learn to make Lamb Kebab Sticks, yummo! Sorry, but yes, I was expecting not much of a weight loss ... but I got one. 1.6kg gone. YAY!!!
As I type, the rain is moving away and fingers crossed I can walk up the hill to retrieve my boys this arvo. This morning to celebrate my weight loss, I popped my P!nk concert DVD on and for 35min moved my fat overgrown bum about the room ... without the whinging, the whining, the interruptions from unnamed children under 8yrs of age. I WAS HOME ALONE AND IT FELT FANTASTIC!!! I sweated, I danced but I achieved a 35min workout and it felt wonderful (especially since one only had 4hours sleep due to the Best Tennis Grand Final ever seen!!!).
Soooo, off we go, yes again. I'd love this 'journey' to be a straight, no breakdown, no hassle kinda drive but we know that won't happen, don't we?! LOL. "Moving Forward Janelle, Movvvvvvvvving Forward" LOL
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