I really don't feel like blogging now. I did 10 minutes ago but someone 'intelligent' in BlogLand decided to stuff about with log-ins and Google and passwords and ten minutes later I am finally get here! If it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT!
Well, its been a shocking couple of weeks for me. I've hit a huge pot hole and I'm still trying to worm out of it. I simply have had a gutful. Once again more important things have knocked my plans out of the way. I thought it would be nice for our family to go away, just for two nights for my birthday which falls on a Friday this year. Last year's birthday wasn't a success, so I was hoping to take my boys away to celebrate in our own way. We have never gone away as a family, our last holiday was our honeymoon way way way back in 2003. Our two night getaway would have been good timing, not in school holidays, wouldn't have been that expensive and then as per ruddy usual we got 'THE' phone call. In four short words "Family event, must go" Slap bang on the weekend we were to go away and because its family we don't say no, do we. I couldn't believe it, every time a plan starts to get off the ground, its knocked to the ground and smashed to pieces. Once again something I wanted to do, as a family, is blow torched and we stay home yet again. So any teeny weeny tiny bit of confidence I gained over the past 3mths was blow-torched to smithereens. Right now I seem to be on the bottom of the 'to do list' around this place. UGHHHH! So friggin' tired of the 'same shit, different day syndrome' here.
And if 'home problems' isn't enough to break me, there's toilet training a three year old stubborn hyperactive terrorist. It's just not happening. He gets the urgency of going to a potty, but its getting him to sit down for more than five seconds is the problem. Then he holds 'it in' and then has breakdowns when there's a waterfall happening down his legs. It just looks like there is no light happening down that tunnel at the moment ...
So the past two weeks, I've had far too much wine to ease the emotional pain. Food wise I haven't been that bad and I could have been better at the exercise but yep, I hit a big pothole. A week ago my weight shot back over the 120kg mark and I was 121kg and I wasn't surprised. On Friday morning just gone I was 119.9kg. I have to drill into the mental side of this journey and get my act together. I know where I stand on the 'priority' list in this family, and truefully I don't think its ever going to change. Ugggggggh, and just to wind me up furtherer our neighbour has been high pressure hosing for three hours and I just want to jump the fence and turn the blasted thing off!!!!!!!
So, it hasn't been the best of times around here .... desperately seeking light at the end of the very long tunnel.
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